She Informs

Author: Jada Goggins

  • Double Standards And Gender Roles In Today’s Modern Society

    Double Standards And Gender Roles In Today’s Modern Society

    We’re in the 21st century and I think it’s safe to say that the gender role argument has many opposing sides. Women have begun to take the lead while most men can’t handle the pressure of being in charge anymore. Well, here’s my take on gender roles and the double standards that come with them.

    Women are incapable of making decisions because they’re naturally emotional beings.

    Decades ago, women had to fight for equal rights in the workforce because women were supposed to be housewives and housewives only. America has been run by men for decades. Today, women are in more leadership positions than ever before, making important decisions. Why was this something women had to fight for in the first place? Because men think women are emotional creatures who aren’t capable of making high-level decisions. We may as well be monkeys, right?

    In my opinion, women are better decision-makers because of their emotional capabilities. To make certain decisions, you must be able to separate your heart from your head. Which is something highly intelligent men and women are both capable of doing. After all, God chose women to create life and that alone says a lot.

    Men can’t show emotions because it makes them look weak.

    Most men may not agree because of how society may view them, but vulnerability is a great characteristic to possess. In fact, vulnerability makes you a great leader. It is a way to form trust and without trust, as a leader, you won’t have many followers. When a man shows vulnerability, it means he is emotionally intelligent. If you have a conversation with a man about vulnerability, he’ll talk about how he doesn’t show any emotion because he grew up being told that it was a form of weakness–that men should not be weak.

    When they conform to it, that is what we like to call toxic masculinity and it is sad that our parents have instilled this in them. Toxic masculinity affects everyone, whether they know it or not. Men should instead choose to heal from this ideology, so their children aren’t affected. They also need to hear that their feelings matter and that it is not healthy to hold them back. As an adult, you’re totally in control of how you choose to live your life despite how you were taught to live it. Men must learn the art of healing, and fully live the way they want to live regardless of how society views them. The idea is to let go of double standards and gender roles are what’s setting the double standards in place.

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    Men pay for the household, while Women take care of it.

    Now that we’re in 2021 (as I’m writing this, there are 24 days until 2022), I think it’s safe to say that my generation has started putting an end to gender role stereotypes. Women are making their own money which doesn’t leave much room for a man to be in charge. Now, there is nothing wrong with this but a lot of people that follow this structure, don’t follow the bible. According to the bible, the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. My generation no longer conforms to the roles that were set for them. According to Glocalilties.com‘s Meet Gen z article, gender role flexibility could mean that boys are allowed to be emotional and girls are allowed to be strong, breaking ‘traditional’ role patterns–redefining gender roles and challenging patriarchy.

    Recently, a picture of a little boy with a kitchen set went viral. It caused some outrage because most believe the notion that only women belong in the kitchen. What most people don’t realize is that cooking, cleaning, and household chores are basic life skills. What if you don’t have a woman in your life for a certain amount of time? You won’t cook, clean your house, or do your laundry? Life skills should not belong to a specific gender. If my son had a dream of becoming a chef and wanted a kitchen set, I’d buy him a kitchen set. At least he’ll have a dream and that’s all that matters. It is only your duty to support that dream, not take it away from him.

    Sexual liberation for men and women isn’t the same thing.

    According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, sexual liberation is defined as “the state of being free from sexual mores or inhibitions that are considered restrictive.” No specific gender is pointed at in that definition. If a woman is sexually liberated, she’s frowned upon. If a man is sexually liberated, he is praised. I do believe that you have to have a certain mindset to be a sexually liberated woman. You have to be confident and not have a care in the world what anyone thinks. Not everyone is capable of this. Some people see it as freedom; to be able to express themselves through physical contact with another person.

    There’s this myth that women can’t have casual sex because they’re not able to separate their feelings from the situation. Although this can depend on the person, I’m here to tell you that men can’t do it either. If you’re a human with feelings it can be hard for anyone. People need to throw away the myth that men can easily deceive their feelings without remorse when they hurt just like any human would. Is it a bad thing to want to satisfy your needs without any attachment? A friend once told me that individuals who can achieve a casual sexationship are empty souls, some say they are mentally strong and free-willing. Perceptions and experiences are key factors in these double standards and gender roles.

  • Embracing Independence: The Joys and Challenges of Living Alone as a Woman

    Embracing Independence: The Joys and Challenges of Living Alone as a Woman

    As women, we often find ourselves juggling multiple roles in society, from our careers to our personal lives. And while it can be challenging, there is something truly empowering about embracing independence and living alone. In this article, we explore the joys and challenges that come with living alone as a woman.

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    Living alone allows us the freedom to create our sanctuary, a space where we can fully express ourselves and cultivate our personal growth. It’s a chance to decorate and design our living spaces in a way that truly resonates with us, without compromise. It also provides an opportunity for self-discovery and empowerment, as we learn to rely on ourselves and navigate through life’s ups and downs.

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    However, living alone as a woman comes with its own set of challenges. From safety concerns to financial responsibilities, there are practical considerations that need to be addressed. But the rewards far outweigh the challenges, as we learn to trust ourselves, build resilience, and discover a newfound sense of freedom. Whether you’re considering living alone or already enjoying the benefits of independence, this article will provide insights and advice on how to embrace and thrive in your solo living journey.

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    Benefits of living alone as a woman

    Living alone allows us to create our own sanctuary, a space where we can fully express ourselves and cultivate our personal growth. It’s a chance to decorate and design our living spaces in a way that truly resonates with us, without compromise. Having complete control over our environment can be incredibly liberating, as we can choose the colors, furniture, and overall atmosphere that brings us joy and comfort. Additionally, being alone allows us to develop a stronger sense of self and discover our interests and passions.

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    Another significant benefit of living alone as a woman is the ability to establish and maintain our routines. We can set our own schedules, prioritize our own needs, and create a sense of order that aligns with our personal preferences. Whether it’s dedicating time for self-care, pursuing hobbies, or simply enjoying some quiet solitude, living alone allows us the freedom to structure our lives in a way that brings us fulfillment.

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    While living alone, we also have the luxury of making decisions autonomously. From choosing what to eat for dinner to deciding how to spend our weekends, we have the final say in every aspect of our lives. This level of independence can be incredibly empowering and can help us build a strong sense of self-reliance. It encourages us to trust our instincts and make choices that align with our values and desires. This self-sufficiency contributes to our personal growth and strengthens our overall resilience.

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    Challenges of living alone as a woman

    Despite the many benefits, living alone as a woman also comes with its own set of challenges. One of the primary concerns for women living alone is safety. It is important to take precautions to ensure our well-being and protect ourselves from potential risks. This includes installing quality locks, investing in a reliable security system, and being cautious about who we let into our homes. Building a strong support network of trusted friends, neighbors, or family members can also provide an added layer of security and peace of mind.

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    Financial responsibilities can also be a challenge when living alone. As the sole provider for our own needs, we are solely responsible for managing expenses such as rent, utilities, groceries, and other bills. It is crucial to develop good financial habits, such as budgeting and saving, to ensure our financial stability. Seeking financial advice and educating ourselves about personal finance can go a long way in successfully managing our expenses and achieving financial independence.

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    Safety precautions for women living alone

    When living alone as a woman, it is essential to prioritize our safety and take necessary precautions to protect ourselves. Here are some safety tips to consider:

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    1. Install quality locks on all doors and windows, and ensure they are always locked when you are at home or away.

    2. Invest in a reliable security system, including alarms and surveillance cameras, to deter potential intruders.

    3. Be cautious about who you let into your home. Avoid inviting strangers or individuals you do not trust.

    4. Get to know your neighbors and establish a good relationship with them. They can be valuable allies in keeping an eye on your property and providing assistance in case a situation arises.

    5. Trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable or sense something is not right, listen to your gut and take appropriate action.

    Believe me, these safety precautions will help you tremendously.

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    Creating a comfortable and functional living space

    Living alone allows us to design our living space according to our preferences, creating a comfortable and functional environment that reflects our personality. Here are some tips for creating a space that feels like home:

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    1. Choose furniture and decor that align with your personal style and provide comfort. Consider investing in pieces that are both aesthetically pleasing and functional.

    2. Declutter and organize your space regularly to maintain a clean and clutter-free environment. This will help promote a sense of calm and tranquility.

    3. Personalize your space with meaningful items, such as photographs, artwork, or mementos that bring you joy and evoke positive emotions.

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    4. Create designated areas for different activities, such as a cozy reading nook, a workspace, or a space for relaxation and meditation.

    5. Pay attention to lighting, as it can greatly impact the ambiance of a room. Incorporate a mix of natural and artificial lighting to create a warm and inviting atmosphere.

    Remember, your living space should be a reflection of your personality and a place where you can retreat and recharge.

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    Navigating relationships and dating while living alone

    Living alone as a woman doesn’t mean we have to forego relationships or the possibility of finding love. However, it does require us to approach relationships with a certain level of caution and mindfulness. Here are some considerations for navigating relationships and dating while living alone:

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    1. Trust your instincts: When meeting new people or entering into new relationships, trust your gut instincts. If something feels off or raises red flags, take the necessary steps to protect yourself and prioritize your safety.

    2. Set boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries and expectations with potential partners. This includes discussing your living situation, your need for personal space, and any safety concerns you may have.

    3. Take your time: Allow relationships to develop naturally and at a pace that feels comfortable for you. Take the time to get to know someone before making any major commitments or decisions.

    4. Maintain independence: While it’s important to foster a sense of togetherness in a relationship, it’s equally vital to maintain your independence and prioritize your own needs and goals.

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    By approaching relationships with mindfulness and prioritizing our safety and well-being, we can navigate dating while living alone in a way that feels empowering and fulfilling.

    Financial independence and managing expenses

    Living alone as a woman often means taking on the sole responsibility of managing our finances. Here are some tips for achieving financial independence and effectively managing your expenses:

    1. Create a budget: Develop a budget that outlines your income, expenses, and savings goals. This will help you track your spending, identify areas where you can cut back, and ensure that you are living within your means.

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    2. Prioritize savings: Make saving a priority by setting aside a portion of your income each month. Consider establishing an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses and work towards long-term financial goals, such as retirement or homeownership.

    3. Seek financial advice: If you’re unsure about managing your finances, consider seeking professional advice from a financial planner or advisor. They can provide guidance tailored to your specific circumstances and help you make informed financial decisions.

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    4. Educate yourself about personal finance: Take the time to educate yourself about personal finance by reading books, attending workshops, or following reputable financial blogs. The more knowledge you have, the better equipped you’ll be to make sound financial decisions.

    By taking control of your finances and developing good financial habits, you can achieve financial independence and enjoy the benefits that come with it.

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    The empowerment of living alone as a woman

    Living alone as a woman comes with both joys and challenges. While there are practical considerations and safety concerns to address, the rewards of independence far outweigh the challenges. By embracing solitude, building a support network, creating a comfortable living space, and managing our finances, we can thrive in our solo living journey.

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  • The Significance Of Failure Vs The Fear Of Failure

    The Significance Of Failure Vs The Fear Of Failure

    Image by Adrian Malec from Pixabay

    The fear of failure is the number one reason people are unhappy with their lives, because they didn’t even give themselves the chance the fail. When you want to start a new journey in life, but you are so afraid it will fail so you don’t even pursue it. You are hindering yourself tremendously from any potential growth. After all, that is what growth is all about–learning from the mistakes you make and moving strategically going forward. The motto for She Informs is “With every experience…comes growth!”, and without experience and countless amounts of failure…I wouldn’t have learned so much about myself and probably would never have started my blog in the first place.

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    “Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success. When you realize that, you free yourself from the fear of failure. In life, failure is inevitable. And the best leaders learn from their failure.”

    -Arianna Huffington

    We cannot let others cloud our judgment.

    I know a lot of people who tend to care too much about what others think and that is one of the reasons we are so scared to fail. Specifically, if you grew up in a “failure is not an option” household. It puts an overwhelming amount of pressure on you that in some circumstances, can lead to failure without you even knowing it. One thing I’ve realized is that if we continue to live our lives based on what other people think or how they tell us to live our lives, it usually results in unhappiness or maybe even depression.

    Sometimes when I’ve experienced failure, I used to feel embarrassed to tell anyone. It’s usually not until later that I’ve realized and had time to reflect on everything I’ve taken from it and use it as a learning lesson. When we see our failures as learning lessons, we will no longer have a problem with failure.

    “Your twenties will produce more failure than you’ll choose to remember. The key is: when you fail, don’t begin calling yourself a failure.”

    -Paul Agone

    According to Paul Agone, failing means you’re simply finding a more profound way to be successful. That sentence alone is the reason I chose to take control of my life no matter what anyone thinks. If I fail not only is it on me, but I take every setback as a learning lesson for the next step to success. It’s better to fail while trying than to not try at all. If someone tells you “Women can’t do that” or “Men aren’t supposed to do that”, prove them wrong! Even if things don’t always work out, people will look up to you and be inspired by you, because you did what they couldn’t.

    Check out my post on double standards, so we can kill the narrative!

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    Just because you fail at it, doesn’t mean it’s not for you.

    When something doesn’t go as planned, how do we decide to take that failure and move strategically? To keep going, keep attempting, or accept the fact that it was not meant for us and move on? For me, I like to look at the reason that caused the failure because I know something wasn’t meant for me. In some instances, distractions might come up that can lead to failure. In other instances, your heart just might not be in it, which can also lead to failure. It’s up to you to determine the root and act on it. If you feel you fail at something because you’re bad at it, work on perfecting it if it is something you so truly want. Cooking, sewing, hair, painting, singing, writing papers, whatever it is, there’s someone out there who’s well versed in it. Find what you want to do and perfect your craft. So far, I’ve learned that education is one of the most powerful tools, and in this day and age, it’s right at our fingertips. Failure is our biggest teacher.

    Letting the fear of failure stop you from your wildest dreams.

    My friend was recently telling me how she wanted to study abroad, in London. She also told me she didn’t even know if school was the right thing for her. My only advice was that you never truly know unless you try. If and when you try, if you fail, you cannot say you did not at least try because you never know where it might’ve taken you. After all, I think that is the ultimate failure; letting the potential of failure stop you from the things you truly want to pursue in life. We sometimes find ourselves so afraid of what “might” happen, that we never let ourselves find out what “will” happen. Sadly, I believe that is why most people do not chase their dreams or become who they truly want to be as a whole.

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  • Love or Trouble: Recognizing the Biggest Red Flags in a Guy

    Love or Trouble: Recognizing the Biggest Red Flags in a Guy

    Is he the one, or is he in trouble? When it comes to relationships, it’s not always easy to tell. But there are red flags that can help you see through the rose-colored glasses and recognize potential trouble in a guy. This article will delve into the biggest red flags to look out for.

    From controlling behavior to lack of respect, these warning signs can save you from heartache and disappointment. Whether you’re just starting to date someone or you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it’s crucial to be aware of these red flags. We’ll explore behaviors that indicate a lack of commitment, trustworthiness, and compatibility.

    Red flag #1: Lack of communication or inconsistent communication

    Poor communication, or lack thereof, and difficulty expressing and communicating issues is a personal issue that can further lead to frustration and unnecessary misunderstandings. Relationships with a lack of proper communication is a relationship that will not last long if not worked on.

    Red flag #2: Controlling behavior

    Attempts to control your actions, choices, or who you interact with are signs of possessiveness. If they try to isolate you from loved ones, it may be a sign of controlling behavior. When controlling behavior is not addressed, it can often become abusive.

    Red flag #3: Disrespectful or dismissive behavior towards you or others

    Disrespectful behavior towards you or others, including belittling, name-calling, or dismissive attitudes.

    Red flag #4: Jealousy or insecurity that leads to unhealthy behavior

    Excessive jealousy or possessive behavior can be signs of insecurity or trust issues.

    Red flag #5: Dishonesty or a lack of trustworthiness

    Repeated lies or inconsistencies in their stories may indicate a lack of trustworthiness.

    Red flag #6: Anger management issues or a tendency towards aggression

    Frequent outbursts of anger, violence, or unresolved anger issues can be dangerous.

    Red flag #7: Lack of accountability or taking responsibility for their actions

    A guy who doesn’t take accountability likely doesn’t think what he does is wrong, which can lead to resentment.

    Red flag #8: Lack of Financial Responsibility or reckless spending

    Reckless spending, financial secrecy, or manipulation related to money can be problematic.

    By recognizing these signs early on, you can make informed decisions about your love life and potentially save yourself from getting involved with someone who isn’t right for you. Love can be beautiful, but entering it with open eyes is important. By understanding the red flags in a guy, you can confidently navigate the dating world and increase your chances of finding a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

    Remember to trust your instincts and prioritize your safety and well-being in any relationship. If you notice several of these red flags, it may be wise to seek support or consider ending the relationship if necessary.

  • Job Hunt Tips That Are Guaranteed To Be Helpful

    Job Hunt Tips That Are Guaranteed To Be Helpful

    Image by @magnetme on Instagram

    Are you having trouble landing that dream job? Haven’t heard back after you’ve submitted multiple job applications? Let’s put an end to that dreary process…its important not to give up while trying to find the right job. These are the most effective and helpful job hunt tips that can speed up the process. In this post, I will cover:

    • Resumes/Cover Letters
    • Responses
    • Experience
    • Follow-ups
    • Relationship Building

    Resumes are vital, and CVs are even better.

    Image by Biljana Jovanovic from Pixabay

    Your resume is a very important part of the job hunt process; it’s what grasps the recruiter’s attention, reels them in, and helps them determine if they’ll move forward. A cover letter is your chance to actually introduce yourself and explain why you are a great candidate for the job. It probably isn’t if you feel your resume is not up to par. I would recommend getting it fixed by a professional. It is a great investment, and it gives you an idea of what your resume should look like for future references.

    Always tailor your resume for the specific job. If you are applying for a sales job, it should not be the same version as your resume for a teaching job. They are two different industries that require specific qualifications. The same thing goes for your cover letter. Each employer is looking for specific qualifications, so you must emphasize in some way that you exceed these qualifications.

    Once your resume is restored and you have a well-written CV, you should have no problem getting to the next step, which is the interview.

    Do not expect a response right away…

    Job hunt tip #2… Just because you applied on Monday does not mean they will respond by Tuesday. I’ve had companies get back to me the next day and/or months after I have already accepted an offer elsewhere. They will respond on their own time unless you decide to consistently follow up. Unless you know for sure you got the job, don’t rely on just one interview.

    Did you submit your application? Great! They haven’t gotten back to you? Well…here are a few reasons why that’s happened:

    1. They’ve chosen someone else.
    2. You’re in consideration in case the other person doesn’t fall through.
    3. The employer is unorganized/dealing with other things.
    4. They are still interviewing candidates and going through the hiring process. Apparently, it can take more time than we expect.

    After the interview, they picked the candidate, but they haven’t sent you your rejection letter. You might be next in line if that said person decides not to follow through. They won’t fully reject you if they may end up needing you in the long run. Things may get out of hand or pop up, and they may have put a hold on the hiring process.

    The hiring process might take a little longer than you expected if the job is in high demand. Sometimes, the employer might be going through a busy season and hasn’t necessarily gotten around to it. This is why it’s important to apply to multiple but similar jobs and not just submit one application.

    Need help to ace the interview? Grab the Ultimate Guide to Job Interview Answers, and get your dream job quickly!

    After your interview, send a follow-up thank you letter.

    It is a good look and can set you aside from the other candidates. Grammarly has the best examples of follow-up letters.

    Experience over credentials…

    One of my least favorite job hunt tips is that if you do not have experience but have a master’s degree, it does not mean you are obligated or always guaranteed the job. Many people I know who earned a master’s degree but do not have the experience have gone through this process repeatedly. This brings me to ask the next question… is a school degree worth the debt? I believe it should definitely be something you’re passionate about, or else you probably shouldn’t pursue it.

    A good reference is important

    Building relationships is important because you never know when you might need someone. I can count on more than one hand alone how many people I can write down as a reference, whether a supervisor, a former coworker, or an old classmate. I can count on these people to give me a positive review for my next job. If you leave a job, always leave on a positive note. Being a good employee for one job can get you into an even better door. NEVER burn bridges!

  • “Know Your Worth Then Add Tax” What Does This Phrase Mean?

    “Know Your Worth Then Add Tax” What Does This Phrase Mean?

    Know your worth, then add tax. What does this mean? It begins with confidence, self-respect, self-worth, and boundaries. These three simple components will help you dodge a lot of chaos in life. Let’s discuss these components and the steps to knowing your worth.

    Living in a scarcity mindset will make you settle for less than you deserve, be undervalued, and rationalize it. You must believe believe it first. You can’t add taxes when the product is free in the first place.

    1. Set the tone

    First impressions last forever. Keep that in mind the first time you introduce yourself to someone. That is when people begin to form the idea of what type of person you might be based on their assumptions. So it is essential to approach every situation with confidence, so even if you don’t believe so, it will come off that you are confident to that person. Even if you aren’t quite yet.

    When it comes to confidence, sometimes it’s okay to fake the funk. Becoming confident can be challenging at first, but that’s totally normal. Even if you must fake it at first, continue to do so until confidence becomes a part of who you are daily. Walk in every room as you own it.

    This is where respect is earned and determines how others will treat you. This does not mean you must prove your worth to anyone, but you must be it. Ensuring you are not treated otherwise is a part of trusting in yourself. Remember, you can be confident without being arrogant.

    This is important because it lets people know you mean business.

    know your worth then add tax
    Image by Sue Styles from Pixabay

    2. Act on your worth! Pride is one powerful tool

    Giving people the benefit of the doubt rarely works out in the long run. You tell yourself, “They’ll change,” or “They’re just going through a tough time right now”. No, they won’t. Waiting for someone to change is the biggest mistake you can make on the journey to knowing your worth. When someone shows you their true colors, BELIEVE THEM. If you say you are no longer dealing with something, keep that promise and do not look back. As a matter of fact, stand on it.

    Pro tip #1: When you first get to know someone, they’ll immediately show you their red flags.

    Demand your needs! You tell your supervisor you need requirements x, y, and z, or else you will find another job. They’ll meet them if they truly appreciate you and know you’re an asset to the company. The same thing goes for your relationships. If that person you have been dating is choosing not to give you what you need, then you let them know this will not work, etc. The one time you abandon those standards, it becomes a habit, and no one will take you seriously. Know your worth.

    Pro tip #2: Knowing your self-worth is very attractive to most and will help you avoid f*ckboys entirely.

    3. Settling only leads to poor judgment, have some dignity!

    Allowing yourself to settle will put you in a space of comfort that you’ll never be happy in. Yes, comfort can be good, but it is detrimental to the process of knowing your worth. You get used to being treated like crap and begin to think that it is normal. I would describe settling for less as “toxic comfortability.” When we hear toxic, we automatically know that it means something or a situation is not hazardous to our health. You know you deserve so much more when you have reached that point in your life.

    Image by Jesse Bridgewater from Pixabay

    Unfortunately, no one wants to be around someone who settles for less than what they deserve because people like that lack a sense of dignity. With that being said, they’ll also treat others less than what they deserve. If you feel like you are not worthy of certain things or a certain life, why should anyone else be worthy of anything? This is the exact mindset of people who don’t mind settling for whatever they can get. No one will value your opinion because they will see it unworthy, the same way you see yourself.

    4. You’ll regret not treating yourself better early on

    When others see how you view yourself, they will treat you as such, which can also lead to a continuous cycle of being taken advantage of. That should not be the reason you treat yourself as worthy, though. Once you have finally reached the point where you know your worth, you will look back on everything that you have put up with in the past. You may feel a little disappointed, but most importantly, you will feel the growth. Your life will also reflect it. That is a part of the growth process.

    Once you reach a point of disgust, that’s when you know things have changed. Almost like when you eat something and it tastes disgusting…you’ll probably never eat said food again. Surrounding yourself with people who will challenge you to improve is also an important part of the process. I almost 100% of the time want and expect a challenge from everyone around me. Everyone has to want growth.

    Know your worth, then add tax.

    Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay

    5. Have Non-Negotiables

    Non-negotiables are your boundaries that are NOT open for debate. I cannot stress the importance of setting boundaries for yourself. When people try to cross those boundaries, that is when your self-respect comes in. Figure out those non-negotiables that you will not tolerate and apply them to everyday life, then don’t look back. Know your worth, then add tax!

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    Published: August 26, 2021

    Edited: August 13, 2024