“Butterflies show us how we can go within ourselves to dissolve old forms and morph, rebuilding and evolving ourselves. They show us the importance of surrender and trust as part of the essential process of growth and renewal.”
Anna Caridad-Barrett
This blog post has been something I have wanted to write about for a while. I am going through a transformative phase in my life and this is for the readers who are as well. To transform into our highest selves, we must let go. To let go we must acknowledge what is hindering us… are you ready?
I want you as the reader to think if you have run from something. Maybe from a person, particular feeling, painful memories? Personally, I have been running from all of the above for some years now. Growing up it was always easy for me to bottle my feelings up and process them on my own. I hated opening up to friends and family because I never felt heard. Unfortunately, yet fortunately, all the emotions and feelings I have been running from started to arise again. This time I knew I could no longer run from the things that have been hindering me since I was a young girl. No matter how far and how fast you run, everything will catch up to you until you face them head-on.
What are you running from?
Personally, I was running from feelings of anger, betrayal, disappointment, and hurt from my childhood. I thought the deeper I suppressed certain feelings and memories they would just go away. They do not. Those feelings will always manifest into something bigger until you are ready to handle them head-on. I had an awakening some time ago after a few familiar situations and I knew it was time. At some point in our lives, you get tired of going through the same things. As Albert Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.” It was time for a much-needed change.
How can I be better?
First and foremost, I began therapy. Although I have a degree in Psychology and am a strong advocate for it, that does not mean it is any less uncomfortable. I have to go back to feelings and memories I never wanted to think about or feel again. It is hard because looking back I could not have the capacity to be the best person to people. That is a big regret of mine. There are times I have quit and restarted therapy because quitting and going back to comfortability is so easy. However, I know if I want to see true change and want to heal little Alexis…I have to be uncomfortable to be comfortable. Another driving force behind me wanting to let go is that I want to be a better person. A better person to my friends, and family, and I want to be a mom and wife one day. I do not want to be something people have to heal from.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
Albert Einstein
What has helped me.
What I am starting to notice that has helped me is doing things I loved as a child. I used to be a huge bookworm. I could read a book a day growing up. Recently I started reading again and I have not felt more at home. I invested in a good journal and make it a point at least once a week to be in tune with myself and write down how I have been feeling. Additionally listening to music. I grew up in households that love dancing and music; it has always made me feel good. So every day I make a point to put on music and just dance and be free for a couple of minutes.
Do not be afraid to ride the wave.
I want you all to know that healing and letting go is not linear. One day it is easy, it is beautiful, it is sunshine and rainbows. Other days, it is so depressing and ugly. It is crying on your bedroom floor, it is anger from how you were treated, and disappointment in yourself for how you treated others. I want you all to know that both experiences are okay. What matters is that you are trying to be better and things will get better…you have to constantly remind yourself of that.
Release it all.
As I end this post, I want you as the reader to think about what you need to let go of. Is it a relationship you know is holding you back from your full potential? Is it your childhood? A friendship that has been draining you? A job you hate? Self-doubt? Whatever it is…the time to release is now. I know it is easier said than done, but imagine how free you will begin to feel when that weight holding you down is off of your shoulders. I am rooting for every one of you and I hope this post resonated with you all.
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Love this! Very inspiring