She Informs

Author: alexisbazile01

  • Death and Grief: The Two Ugliest Words

    My favorite picture of my two angels.

    “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

    John 14:3

    Death is unavoidable…sometimes you can prepare for it, other times you cannot. All in all it will still shake you to your core when it happens. I needed to get real with myself and talk about how I am feeling instead of masking with working, sleeping, or simply avoiding. I always think to myself, “Maybe there is a reader out there going through the same thing.” With that being said, let’s try to release it all.

    Grandma Carol: The IT Girl

    My grandma Carol was my girl, I have so many memories from my eleven years with her. Grandma was everything from fashionable, intelligent, quick-witted, and certainly did not take anyone’s crap. My grandma taught me how to read, which I am forever thankful for because, if you know me you know I love a good book. My grandma was also very open with her health issues I will never forget her sitting at her kitchen table, telling my brother and I to watch her take her insulin while saying “take care of your body or you will end up like me.” As I reflect sometimes on her last year on earth, I feel like she knew her time was coming. My family and I went to amusement parks and she was right there with us; she even got on a few rides which was unlike her. She came and stayed with us for a few months too…the best time of my life.

    On October 31st, 2009 she left us. I was at a volleyball tournament and when my stepmom left to answer the phone I knew. I cried, I mourn and I still do. When she passed, I feel like I was okay because she was so open about her health issues. I cherished all of our time together and I remember the last time I saw her. Running into her room, getting in her bed, and saying “I love you, Grandma! See you at Christmas.” Although I did not see her after that day, I was still okay because in a way I said goodbye.

    When it comes to the death of my grandpa…I am shattered.

    Paw Paw Bear: The Gentle Giant

    My paw paw was a man of few words but when he talked you listened. He commanded any room he entered, meant business, but loved to laugh and tell stories. By far he was one of the strongest men I have ever known. I always knew how proud of me he was especially when I graduated from college. Whenever I needed anything he was always a phone call, text, or FaceTime away. He always took care of himself, had a routine that consisted of working out, taking vitamins, mowing the lawn etc. I just knew he would live forever.

    On November 30th, 2022 he left us. The grief behind losing him hurts in a way that is so foreign to me. I am so hurt because I did not get to even hug him goodbye. The last time I saw him in person was over the summer. I was preparing to go on a trip and he was at my families house mowing the lawn. We had a conversation before it was time for me to go on my trip, and I wanted to give him a hug goodbye. He said “I love you, but I am sweaty so I will hug you next time. Enjoy your trip!” There was no next time. We talked on the phone, texted, and FaceTimed before he passed but I never got that hug.

    Losing him felt so sudden because I just knew he was immortal. I knew I would see him at Christmas, he would shuffle around the house in his slippers, laugh with the biggest smile, and tell the best stories. My emotions have been so up and down. One day I am fine. Other days, it feels like my body is just floating, my brain isn’t attached to my body, and days just merge.
    I know he would want me to keep going and living my life but it is so hard right now. I have been trying to keep my routine, go for walks, “take care of myself” as he would always say.

  • A Guide to Self-Care: Let’s Relax!

    A Guide to Self-Care: Let’s Relax!

    Self-Care
    Photo by Hakan Erenler on Pexels.com

    “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”

    Anne Lamott

    Let’s talk self-care! Honestly, it is so easy to forget to take care of yourself. From school, jobs, friendships, relationships, being a parent (if you are one) remembering to put yourself first can be hard. It is very important to find the time and space to take care of yourself. If you do not practice self-care, you will notice an increase in anxiety, distractibility, depression, anger, and fatigue. Ask yourself: If I cannot show up for myself, how do I expect others to? Below are some of my favorite versions of self-care.

    Mani-Pedi’s

    I absolutely love getting my nails and toes done; I can scroll on Pinterest for hours looking at nail designs, and I am even in a nail art group on Facebook. Budgeting keeping my nails done so I am not overspending every pay period helps a lot. What also helps me is once a month getting a gel pedicure and a set of acrylic nails. A gel pedicure to me is always the best way to go because they last so long. Even if you do not like going to the nail salons or it is not in your personal budget, there are other options. Press ons are very quick, easy, and cheap, along with at home pedicures.

    Putting your phone on DO NOT DISTURB

    Want to know the best thing about cell phones? You can put them on do not disturb. My friends and family hate that I always have my phone on do not disturb. There is a rhyme and a reason behind it for me. When my phone is off do not disturb, and vibrates, I feel the immediate need to respond. It can be like a ball and chain personally. It allows me to have the space to respond when I am ready.

    A Morning and Night Routine

    How you start your day and how you end your day is so important. I am in no way saying that every day is perfect and you will stick to your routines; I would be lying if I said that. What is important is attempting to show up for yourself. When you wake up try not to immediately check your phone or email. Take time to breathe, maybe stay in bed for a few extra minutes, make breakfast, or get some sort of exercise in. When I would go for a walk or do some sort of workout before work, my mood was amazing. I did fall off my before work routine for awhile but I am making an effort to get back. Before bed I attempt to have a routine; shower, lather my body with my favorite body oil, brush my teeth, wash my face, and either read, journal, meditate, or watch tv.

    What are some of your versions of self-care?

  • The Art of Letting Go

    The Art of Letting Go

    close up photo of glowing blue butterflies
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    “Butterflies show us how we can go within ourselves to dissolve old forms and morph, rebuilding and evolving ourselves. They show us the importance of surrender and trust as part of the essential process of growth and renewal.”

    Anna Caridad-Barrett

    This blog post has been something I have wanted to write about for a while. I am going through a transformative phase in my life and this is for the readers who are as well. To transform into our highest selves, we must let go. To let go we must acknowledge what is hindering us… are you ready?

    I want you as the reader to think if you have run from something. Maybe from a person, particular feeling, painful memories? Personally, I have been running from all of the above for some years now. Growing up it was always easy for me to bottle my feelings up and process them on my own. I hated opening up to friends and family because I never felt heard. Unfortunately, yet fortunately, all the emotions and feelings I have been running from started to arise again. This time I knew I could no longer run from the things that have been hindering me since I was a young girl. No matter how far and how fast you run, everything will catch up to you until you face them head-on.

    What are you running from?

    Personally, I was running from feelings of anger, betrayal, disappointment, and hurt from my childhood. I thought the deeper I suppressed certain feelings and memories they would just go away. They do not. Those feelings will always manifest into something bigger until you are ready to handle them head-on. I had an awakening some time ago after a few familiar situations and I knew it was time. At some point in our lives, you get tired of going through the same things. As Albert Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.” It was time for a much-needed change.

    How can I be better?

    First and foremost, I began therapy. Although I have a degree in Psychology and am a strong advocate for it, that does not mean it is any less uncomfortable. I have to go back to feelings and memories I never wanted to think about or feel again. It is hard because looking back I could not have the capacity to be the best person to people. That is a big regret of mine. There are times I have quit and restarted therapy because quitting and going back to comfortability is so easy. However, I know if I want to see true change and want to heal little Alexis…I have to be uncomfortable to be comfortable. Another driving force behind me wanting to let go is that I want to be a better person. A better person to my friends, and family, and I want to be a mom and wife one day. I do not want to be something people have to heal from.

    “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

    Albert Einstein

    What has helped me.

    What I am starting to notice that has helped me is doing things I loved as a child. I used to be a huge bookworm. I could read a book a day growing up. Recently I started reading again and I have not felt more at home. I invested in a good journal and make it a point at least once a week to be in tune with myself and write down how I have been feeling. Additionally listening to music. I grew up in households that love dancing and music; it has always made me feel good. So every day I make a point to put on music and just dance and be free for a couple of minutes.

    Do not be afraid to ride the wave.

    I want you all to know that healing and letting go is not linear. One day it is easy, it is beautiful, it is sunshine and rainbows. Other days, it is so depressing and ugly. It is crying on your bedroom floor, it is anger from how you were treated, and disappointment in yourself for how you treated others. I want you all to know that both experiences are okay. What matters is that you are trying to be better and things will get better…you have to constantly remind yourself of that.

    Release it all.

    As I end this post, I want you as the reader to think about what you need to let go of. Is it a relationship you know is holding you back from your full potential? Is it your childhood? A friendship that has been draining you? A job you hate? Self-doubt? Whatever it is…the time to release is now. I know it is easier said than done, but imagine how free you will begin to feel when that weight holding you down is off of your shoulders. I am rooting for every one of you and I hope this post resonated with you all.

    Little Alexis Brianna, we have come so far! I love you and promise to make you proud.

  • The Art of Meditation: How to Manage Anxiety and Stress 

    The Art of Meditation: How to Manage Anxiety and Stress 

    Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

    Why I chose to manage my stress and anxiety

    These past two years while living in a global pandemic have been stressful and a trying time for everyone around the world. From losing loved ones to COVID-19, losing jobs, losing faith and sometimes yourself. Not to mention the affordable housing crisis, gas prices increasing, and so much more. All of which can be the main cause of anxiety and stress. Today, I will be talking about meditation and how it has helped me. In hopes that is will help you too.


    I’ve struggled with stress management and anxiety since seventeen years old. Now that I am 24, for seven years straight I have tried just about everything. I, like the rest of the world in 2020, was anxious, heartbroken, and stressed for many reasons. Two of the major reasons was (1), not being able to graduate college in person until the following year due to the virus, and (2) the fear of “what’s next?”.

    My wake up call was when I started having severe chest pains and wasn’t sleeping well because my thoughts were constantly racing. Looking back, quarantine made me finally sit down and take care of myself. While in school it was ingrained into me to have the best grades, be involved, ”stay the course”,always be “on go”.

    Now, I had all the time in the world, so I decided to Google “Best Ways to Manage Anxiety and Stress.” Of course, meditation, yoga, exercise, a good sleep schedule, and a balanced diet were all staring back at me. Everything seemed doable, so I began to do research on meditation because before I do anything I like to gain as much knowledge on the topic possible.

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    What is Meditation?


    Meditation is an ancient practice that originated in India thousands of years ago. The goal of meditation is to focus your mind on a particular object, thought, or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state.

    At the beginning of my journey to meditation, I found it to be a little difficult. As I stated, I have a pretty busy mind therefore, sitting by myself not saying anything felt pointless because my mind would just race. I was so determined to get everything I was feeling under control, so I went back to Google.

    My meditation style

    With there being so many different ways to meditate I finally found the best one for me, which is mindfulness meditation. Which teaches you to slow down racing thoughts, let go of negativity, and be one with your mind, body and spirit. Moving forward I decided to give it another go, but this time I set the scene. I turned my phone off, lit candles, put lavender oil in my essential oil lamp, turned on a meditation playlist, and began.

    I laid down on my floor, closed my eyes, and focused on my breaths. Inhale in …exhale out …Inhale in…exhale out. After focusing on my breaths and becoming one with my breathing, I mentally took myself to my favorite place to relax: the beach! I heard the waves, the sounds of the seagulls, the smell of the salt water. As I felt so relaxed, I didn’t realize 45 minutes had gone by. When I sat up and opened my eyes, I felt calm, loose, and my worries were in the wind.

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    Now, I know not everyone has the time to do a full meditation set up everyday, but in those moments where you feel the tightness in your chest, the lump in your throat, the pit in your stomach…take time to breathe and go to the place that brings you calmness. Especially before and after doing something that typically brings you stress.

    Meditating on limited time

    If you don’t always have the opportunity to do the full meditation setup, there are other ways to do so. Could be practicing your breathing on your commute to and from work, in between zoom calls, in between classes, before bed, when you wake up, or even after a workout. The options are endless; it’s whatever style works best for you. However, if you can make the time and space to do a full ritual, do it. We have one life, one body, and in my opinion, taking care of your mental, physical, and spiritual state is a must. Not managing anxiety and stress properly can eat away at your body little by little and we all deserve a calm and joyous life.
    Here are some links to help start your journey to serenity:

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    @adorelex._