She Informs

Category: Relationships

Whether exploring self-love, building meaningful connections, or navigating the complexities of partnerships, find guidance and insights tailored for women.

  • Why Boundaries Make Relationships Better, Not Worse

    Why Boundaries Make Relationships Better, Not Worse

    If you’ve ever worried that setting boundaries will push someone away, you’re not alone. A lot of people associate boundaries with being “cold,” “difficult,” or “too much.” But the truth is the opposite: healthy boundaries improve relationships by protecting respect, emotional safety, and trust.

    Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re guidelines that help two people stay connected without losing themselves in the process.

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    What Are Boundaries in a Relationship?

    Boundaries are limits that define what you’re comfortable with and how you want to be treated. They can be emotional, physical, digital, financial, or even time-related.

    For example, boundaries can sound like:

    • “I need alone time after work before we talk.”
    • “I’m not okay with yelling during disagreements.”
    • “Please don’t share personal details about me with others.”
    • “I’m happy to help, but I can’t lend money right now.”

    A boundary isn’t about controlling another person. It’s about communicating your needs clearly and taking responsibility for protecting your peace.

    Why Boundaries Make Relationships Stronger

    Healthy relationships aren’t built on guessing games. They’re built on communication, mutual respect, and trust. Boundaries support all three.

    1. Boundaries Create Emotional Safety

    When both people understand what’s acceptable and what isn’t, the relationship feels more stable. You don’t have to walk on eggshells or constantly wonder where you stand.

    Emotional safety is what allows people to be vulnerable, honest, and fully themselves without fear of being punished for it.

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    2. Boundaries Reduce Resentment

    Resentment often comes from over-giving, over-extending, or staying silent about what you really need.

    Without boundaries, you might say “yes” when you really mean “no,” then feel irritated later. Over time, that turns into frustration and emotional distance.

    Boundaries prevent that by making space for truth early before it becomes bitterness.

    3. Boundaries Improve Communication

    A relationship can’t thrive if people are afraid to speak up. Boundaries encourage open conversations like:

    • what you need to feel loved
    • what stresses you out
    • what makes you feel disrespected
    • what helps you feel supported

    Instead of arguing about symptoms (“you never listen”), boundaries help you address the real issue (“I need you to stop interrupting me when I’m speaking”).

    4. Boundaries Help You Stay True to Yourself

    One of the biggest relationship mistakes people make is shrinking themselves to keep the peace.

    But healthy love doesn’t require self-abandonment. Boundaries allow you to stay connected to your values, needs, and identity while still showing up for your partner.

    When you feel like yourself in a relationship, you’re more confident, secure, and emotionally available.

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    5. Boundaries Build Trust Over Time

    Trust isn’t just about loyalty; it’s also about consistency.

    When someone respects your boundaries, it sends a clear message:
    “I care about your comfort, your feelings, and your well-being.”

    That builds trust. And when you respect someone else’s boundaries, you create the same safety for them.

    Why Some People Think Boundaries Make Relationships Worse

    Boundaries only feel “bad” to someone who benefits from you having none.

    If a person is used to:

    • unlimited access to your time
    • emotional labor with no balance
    • you always forgiving everything
    • you staying quiet to avoid conflict

    …then boundaries feel like rejection. But they’re not rejected. They’re protection.

    And in healthy relationships, protection is love.

    Boundaries Are Not the Same as Being Mean

    It’s possible to set boundaries with kindness. You don’t have to be harsh or aggressive for your boundary to be real.

    Here’s the difference:

    Healthy boundary:
    “I’m not comfortable being spoken to like that. Let’s take a break and talk when we’re calm.”

    Unhealthy behavior:
    “I’m done talking. You always ruin everything.” (shutdown + blame)

    A boundary is calm, clear, and focused on your needs—not punishing the other person.

    Examples of Healthy Limitations That Improve Relationships

    Here are a few real-life boundaries that often make relationships healthier:

    Time boundaries

    • “I can hang out Friday, but I need Saturday to recharge.”
    • “I can’t text all day while I’m working.”

    Emotional boundaries

    • “I’m here for you, but I can’t be your only support system.”
    • “I need you to respect my feelings even if you don’t agree.”
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    Conflict boundaries

    • “We can disagree, but we won’t insult each other.”
    • “If we start yelling, we pause and come back later.”

    Physical boundaries

    • “I don’t like being touched when I’m upset.”
    • “I need personal space sometimes.”

    Social media/digital boundaries

    • “Please don’t post me without asking.”
    • “I’m not comfortable with you reading my messages.”

    How to Set Boundaries Without Ruining the Relationship

    If you’re nervous about bringing up boundaries, keep it simple:

    1. Say what you need
    2. Say why it matters
    3. Say what you will do if it isn’t respected

    For example:
    “I need us to stop arguing late at night. I get overwhelmed, and it makes things worse. If we start fighting after 10, I’m going to pause the conversation, and we can revisit it tomorrow.”

    That’s not drama. That’s maturity.

    The Bottom Line: Boundaries Protect Love

    Boundaries don’t create distance; they create clarity.

    They help you love without losing yourself. They prevent resentment. They make communication easier. And they build trust because both people feel respected and safe.

    If a relationship is truly healthy, boundaries won’t break it.
    They’ll strengthen it.

    Because the right person won’t fear your boundaries.
    They’ll appreciate them.

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  • How Becoming a Mom Changes Your Social Circle (And That’s OK)

    How Becoming a Mom Changes Your Social Circle (And That’s OK)

    Remember life before becoming a mom? When making plans meant a quick text and showing up wherever, whenever? When conversations flowed freely without tiny interruptions or the constant mental math of bedtimes and babysitter costs? If you’re nodding along while bouncing a baby or negotiating with a toddler, you’re experiencing one of motherhood’s less talked-about challenges: the friendship shift.

    It starts subtly. Maybe you decline a few happy hours because you’re exhausted, or you leave early from gatherings because your pumping schedules wait for no one. Your childless friends might roll with it at first, but as the pattern continues, something changes. The invitations slow down. Group chats move on without you. It’s not malicious—it’s just the natural drift that happens when life circumstances separate dramatically.

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    The Great Divide

    The reality is stark: becoming a mother creates an invisible line between you and friends who haven’t yet reached motherhood. It’s not about love or loyalty—it’s about living in fundamentally different worlds. While your single or childless friends are navigating career moves, travel plans, and weekend adventures, you’re deep in the trenches of sleep deprivation, diaper changes, and the strange pride that comes from successfully leaving the house with everyone wearing matching shoes.

    This divide can feel isolating, especially when you desperately need connection. You might find yourself explaining why you can’t commit to plans more than a day in advance, or why that “quick coffee” needs to happen between 10 AM and noon when the baby naps. Sometimes it feels easier to stop trying.

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    The New Group

    But here’s what often happens next after becoming a mom: you start finding your people in unexpected places. The mom at story time who also looks like she forgot to brush her teeth. The neighbor who waves sympathetically as you wrestle a screaming toddler into a car seat. The woman in your birthing class who texts you at 3 AM because she knows you’re probably awake too.

    These new friendships form differently than your pre-kid relationships. They’re born from shared survival, mutual understanding, and the beautiful relief of being around someone who doesn’t judge you for having Goldfish crackers permanently embedded in your purse. Conversations might be interrupted by small people demanding snacks, but there’s an acceptance there that didn’t exist before.

    Quality Over Quantity

    The friendship shift isn’t just about losing some relationships and gaining others—it’s about fundamentally changing what you need from friendship. Pre-motherhood, you might have had energy for maintaining dozens of casual friendships. Now, you’re drawn to deeper connections with fewer people who truly understand your current season of life.

    You learn to appreciate the friend who brings coffee when she visits instead of expecting you to host. The one who doesn’t mind if your conversation happens while you’re folding laundry or pushing swings at the playground. The friend who celebrates small victories with you, like everyone napping at the same time or making it through Target without a meltdown (from anyone).

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    Preserving What Matters

    Not all pre-motherhood friendships have to fade. The ones worth keeping are the friends who evolve with you, who ask about your kids but also remember you’re still a whole person with thoughts beyond pediatric schedules. They’re the ones who suggest meeting for lunch instead of late dinners, who understand when you need to reschedule, and who remind you of who you were before you became “mom.”

    These friendships now require more intentional effort. Instead of spontaneous hangouts, you schedule coffee dates like business meetings. You might text more and call less, or have deeper conversations in shorter bursts. It’s different, but it can be just as meaningful.

    Embracing the Evolution

    The shift in friendship can feel like a loss, and in some ways, it is. You’re mourning the ease of your previous social life, the spontaneity, the version of yourself who could be completely present without mental checklists running in the background. That grief is real and valid.

    However, you’re also creating space for relationships that align with your current reality. Friendships built on understanding, flexibility, and shared experience in this wild journey of raising tiny humans. These connections might look different from what you had before, but they’re precisely what you need now.

    The friendship shift isn’t a failure or a settling; you’re evolving. You’re not losing yourself; you’re finding the people who see and celebrate who you’re becoming. And that’s not just OK—it’s exactly as it should be.

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  • Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Friendship Breakups

    Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Friendship Breakups

    When we think about painful breakups, romantic relationships often come to mind first. Yet friendship breakups can be equally—if not more—devastating. These social cracks leave emotional wounds that many of us are unprepared to handle, primarily because society rarely acknowledges their value. Unlike romantic breakups, which come with established healing practices and widespread sympathy, friendship breakups often leave us navigating unknown waters alone.

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    Understanding Friendship Breakups

    Friendship breakups occur when once-close relationships dissolve, either through a dramatic falling out or a gradual drifting apart. These separations can happen for countless reasons: changing life circumstances, betrayal of trust, unresolved conflicts, or simply growing in different directions. Regardless of the cause, the emotional aftermath can be profound and long-lasting.

    Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist specializing in friendship, notes that “friendship breakups can feel particularly painful because we don’t expect them to happen. We’re culturally conditioned to see friendships as relationships that should withstand the test of time.”

    The Emotional Impact

    The grief that follows friendship breakups often catches people by surprise. You might experience a range of emotions, including:

    • Confusion and questioning what went wrong
    • Anger at perceived betrayal or abandonment
    • Sadness over the loss of a significant relationship
    • Anxiety about mutual social connections
    • Self-doubt about your value as a friend

    These feelings deserve validation. Research shows that social rejection activates the same brain regions as physical pain, confirming what many who’ve experienced friendship breakups already know: the hurt is genuine and legitimate.

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    Healing From Friendship Breakups

    Recovery from friendship breakups requires intentional emotional processing. Here are strategies to help navigate this complicated landscape:

    Allow yourself to grieve. Acknowledge the loss rather than minimizing it. The relationship meant something to you, and its end deserves to be mourned.

    Seek perspective without obsessing. Reflect on what happened, but avoid the trap of endless thought. Consider what you’ve learned about yourself, relationships, and your needs in friendships.

    Find healthy outlets for your feelings. Journal about your experience, talk with supportive people, or channel emotions into creative or physical activities.

    Re-evaluate boundaries. Friendship breakups often reveal where our boundaries need strengthening. Use this insight to nurture healthier relationships moving forward.

    Practice self-compassion. Resist the urge to blame yourself entirely. Relationships are complex systems, and their endings rarely have a single cause.

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    When to Let Go and When to Reconcile

    Not all friendship breakups need to be permanent. Sometimes, space and time provide the perspective needed for reconciliation. Consider these questions when deciding whether to attempt rebuilding:

    • Was the friendship generally positive and supportive?
    • Is there a willingness on both sides to address the issues?
    • Have the circumstances that contributed to the breakup changed?
    • Can you envision a healthy relationship moving forward?

    If reconciliation seems possible, approach it with clear communication about what happened, what needs to change, and how you’ll address conflicts in the future.

    However, some friendship breakups represent necessary endings. If the relationship was consistently harmful to your well-being, reconciliation may not be the healthiest path.

    Building Resilience Through Friendship Breakups

    Though painful, friendship breakups can ultimately contribute to personal growth. They teach us about our needs, values, and boundaries in relationships. Many people emerge from these experiences with greater emotional intelligence and a clearer sense of the qualities they seek in future friendships.

    Psychologist Adam Grant suggests that “resilience isn’t about bouncing back to where you were before; it’s about bouncing forward to something new.” The end of a friendship opens space for new connections that may better align with who you are becoming.

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    Moving Forward

    Remember that healing isn’t linear as you navigate the aftermath of friendship breakups. Some days will be more complicated than others. Be patient with yourself, and continue investing in connections that nourish you.

    The pain of friendship breakups reflects the meaningful role these relationships play in our lives. By acknowledging their significance and learning from their endings, we honor our friends’ impact on shaping who we become, even when the relationship itself doesn’t endure.

  • Does He Have to Ask You to Be His Valentine?

    Does He Have to Ask You to Be His Valentine?

    Every year around Valentine’s Day, there is an influx of Valentine’s proposes on social media. One partner asks the other partner, “Will you be my Valentine? But there’s always that group of men who don’t ask their girl to be his Valentine. Then the question arises…if we’re together, why do I have to ask you to be my Valentine? Let’s talk about it!

    Most women LOVE Valentine’s Day and thought of someone asking “Will you be my Valentine?” just bring flutters to the heart.

    The Significance Behind “Be My Valentine”

    Asking someone to be your Valentine is a romantic gesture showing your willingness to go the extra mile. If your partner would like that, it’s great to show that you will do anything to make them smile and see them happy. Again, it depends on the person because not every person is alike.

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    Whether you are in the beginning stages or have spent many years together, a little romance is never too much. It’s more than just a gesture, it shows how important the person is in your life.

    A proprosal is not always required!

    As stated previously, it depends on the person. That means that if this is something you want or don’t necessarily care for, it MUST be communicated. Now, some men are more knowledgeable than others when it comes to romance and automatically know how they should treat a woman. Most guys would prefer if you communicated the things you want and do not want, that way its easier for them to make you happy. If it is something you want, then you should tell him that so you don’t unintentionally become disappointed.

    Now, if you’re anything like me, a Valentine’s proposal is not required…but don’t get me wrong! If it happened it would be very much appreciated.

    Inclusion, it all depends on your partner and proper communication is the key. It is not something you have to do or don’t do based on what social media or society tells you, but soley based on what your partner wants because at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters.

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  • The Impact of Hookup Culture On Women’s Emotional Well-Being

    The Impact of Hookup Culture On Women’s Emotional Well-Being

    Hookup culture is a popular movement today that empowers sexual liberation. The question is, is it hurting us or helping us?

    Without the expectation of a committed relationship, hookup culture promotes sexual liberation and casual hookups as a means to satisfy something deeper. Why are people so supportive of hookup culture? Let’s talk about it.

    What is sex meant for?

    Sexual Intercourse between two individuals is meant for married people. What most people don’t realize is that sex is very different for women than it is for men. Women are more likely to become emotionally attached to people they have sex with, unlike most men. Well, how are women participating in hookup culture?

    Studies show that women who are actively participating in casual sex with no strings attached are more than likely damaged emotionally in some capacity. Almost always, someone ends up wanting something more, resulting in someone getting hurt.

    Sex is also meant for reproduction, so it’s important not to have sex with someone you would not raise a child with for the rest of your life. It is a sacred act that expresses love and emotional connection with a lover. Not to be done casually.

    Men benefit from hookup culture; women don’t.

    Most men (or little boys) love the idea of casual relationships, no real responsibility, no one to hold them accountable, and no one extra they’re obligated to spend their money on. So, as long as they meet a woman with no real expectations except a physical relationship, they win. Men and women view sexual intercourse in two totally different ways. Women see sex as an emotional bonding experience, and men see sex as an activity.

    Men have penises; women have vaginas…if you are sexually active, then you know that the penis entering the vagina is how sexual intercourse takes place. With that being said, men are the givers, and women are the receivers. Women are on the receiving end of whatever men give them.

    Conversely, women will agree or find themselves in a casual situation, thinking they can do it later to find out they can’t. Women are emotional beings in nature. As emotional beings, we naturally crave love and emotional support, especially from those we deeply care about. Everything we do often always has our emotions tied to it. Having sex with strangers or someone you’re not emotionally invested in can be harmful to your mental health. It can often lead you to feel used and emotionally unsatisfied. Which is not how a woman is supposed to operate.

    You must respect your body.

    You must realize that you are worth far more than you are giving out. Something most women who partake in casual relationships don’t know is that they’re degrading themselves. Sex is a sacred act between two people who are committed to each other. This means that it is not something that should be done casually.

    Causal sex can lead to emotional distress versus sex in a committed relationship and marriage. This tends to lead to feelings of regret and emptiness. When a woman is deprived emotionally, she cannot operate in a way a feminine woman should. Feminine women do not partake in casual sex.

    There are a plethora of risky health concerns that can result in having casual sex, such as STIs and unplanned pregnancies. Trying to avoid an unplanned pregnancy can be detrimental to the body as well since taking too many plan Bs can result in infertility. One of the most important responsibilities God gave women on earth was to give life. It is not something that should mistakenly happen.

    Be careful about who you choose to lay with, it’s an expensive cost.

  • How to Recognize You’re Being Breadcrumbed

    How to Recognize You’re Being Breadcrumbed

    Dating in today’s society has become more challenging than ever. Nowadays everyone is jaded and it is exhausting, but being breadcrumbed can be even more exhausting. It’s good to indicate the signs early and have the important conversations in the beginning. When someone won’t communicate that they’re not interested in you, but wants to keep your attention, they breadcrumb you.

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    What exactly is breadcrumbing? Why are people doing it?

    What is breadcrumbing?

    Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you the bare minimum, just enough to keep you around, leaving you confused and anxious about where you stand in their lives. Typically, they might’ve lost interest or were never interested in the first place. That does not always have to do with you. Psychology Today defines breadcrumbing as a term for for stringing someone along with small nuggets of communication—but never fully committing to a relationship.

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    Breadcrumbing can be intentional or unintentional depending on how self-aware the person doing the breadcrumbing is. Master manipulators and narcisissts are well-known for breadcrumbing and leading people on. Again, being breadcrumbed is not something to blame yourself for. It is a manipulation tactic most cowards who are not good at communicating result to. They tend to have a pattern of breadcrumbing, ghosting, and gaslighting.

    Signs of Breadcrumbing:

    • Inconsistency
    • Often go missing for hours or days at a time
    • Not following through with plans
    • View/like your social media posts without responding to you
    • Ignoring the process of trying to make plans with you
    • You never know where you stand with them
    • Avoid the “committment” conversation
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    Why do people breadcrumb?

    Most of the time they just aren’t ready for a relationship and the responsibility that comes with it. Sometimes people are in a space or not mature enough for responsibility, no matter what age they are.

    Feeding off of the attention they get from you. It is indeed a form of manipulation, and if ignored will lead to emotional abuse.

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    They like you but they aren’t ready to commit. They don’t like you and aren’t ready to commit. Either way, they’re doing just enough to keep you around. Narcissists are popular for treating people this way, as they have a “player” approach to dating and are often only thinking of themselves.

    How to avoid breadcrumbing

    It’s important to recognize the signs and address them right away. You must have standards and boundaries and not settle for anything less. Trust your instincts. If you feel that you are being treated poorly, its important to communicate those feelings and leave when necessary. You are the only person that sets the standards and expectations for how people treat you.

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    However, it is important to know that when someone is breadcrumbing you, it is a reflection of their character, not yours. Being breadcrumbed absolutely sucks, but it is good to identify it early so that you can dodge that [potentially long-lasting] bullet. Your self-love has to be stronger than your loneliness. If you’re feeling confused or hurt, remember that someone who truly values you would not treat you that way.

  • Why Women Love Valentine’s Day

    Why Women Love Valentine’s Day

    Image by Sophia from Pixabay

    If you’re a man reading this, then you’re probably trying to figure out why in the world women love Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is the one time a year when romance is always certain to happen. Especially for men that aren’t the most romantic throughout the year. Unfortunately for some women, the reality is that it might be one of the few days she actually gets romanced.

    If you know women, then you know we thrive off of romance more than almost anything. That’s how most women are wired or brought up to believe. For some women, the significance of Valentine’s Day may be rooted in societal expectations, cultural traditions, or personal experiences.

    Even single women will get together with their friends and celebrate, renaming it Galentine’s Day. If we don’t have a partner, we will still go out of our way to make each other feel special. That’s how much some women love Valentine’s Day.

    It’s almost every woman’s dream to be with a man who knows how to be romantic. Now, not all women care about Valentine’s Day as much as others, as everyone has their perspectives and priorities. However, in most cultures, it is celebrated to represent love and relationships.

    Valentine’s Day can make or break a relationship

    According to Psychology Today, Valentine’s Day, or the months of February and March are when couples break up the most. Past researchers found that partners in romantic relationships already in a weakened state were almost five times more likely to break up within the two weeks surrounding Valentine’s Day than they were during any other weeks of the year. Yes, it’s true! Valentine’s Day has the power to either strengthen or weaken relationships.

    Valentine’s Day can also strengthen relationships. Especially relationships going through a hard time. Regardless of what you may be going through, it is a way to express your love and gratitude. Acts of kindness, thoughtful gestures, and meaningful expressions of love can enhance the emotional connection in the relationship. V-day is the day to create positive memories and rekindle the romance with the effort alone.

    Women sometimes use Valentine’s Day to determine where they stand in your life and might also use it to determine how much they mean to you. It is the day when people express affection for their partners through romantic gestures like gift-giving, cards, and romantic activities.

    Image by gmdoujingyi from Pixabay

    Being with someone and not receiving anything for Valentine’s Day or no acknowledgement can feel like a huge slap in the face. Even if you don’t care for the day, going out of your way to make your person feel special is what love encompasses. Again, everyone has their preferences and not everyone places Valentine’s Day on the high importance list. But if your partner is someone who appreciates romance and values V-day, then even something as simple as a hand written letter expressing your most most inner feelings for them would mean the world.

    Ultimately, embracing the spirit of Valentine’s Day allows us to cherish and strengthen the bonds that make every relationship unique and special. Communication and understanding between partners play a big role in figuring out expectations and ensuring that both individuals feel valued and loved in the relationship.

  • How to Practice Self-Love After A Breakup

    How to Practice Self-Love After A Breakup

    Practicing self-love after a breakup involves taking care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. it allows you to process your feelings healthily. A sense of self-worth will remind you that your value is more than a relationship or its end. Practicing self-love after a breakup will help you build resilience and will cause you to strengthen your ability to cope with future challenges or relationship issues. Read more to find ways to practice self-love and how it will benefit you in the long run.

    1. Accept Your Feelings

    Allow yourself to grieve and feel the emotions. It’s okay to be sad or angry. When we accept the situation for what it is, not how we want it to be. It makes it easier to move on. It is okay and perfectly normal to feel any sense of hurt, sadness, regret, heartbreak, anger, resentment, etc. The key is to accept these emotions and process them correctly. That means not running to a vice to fill the void but processing them.

    2. Self-Care

    Prioritize your well-being by eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. It is important to take some time to pour into yourself during this time. Remember, the time that you’re single is the time to heal and focus on becoming a better person. When it comes to self-care, this is a crucial step in practicing self-love after a breakup. People can tell whether you take self-care seriously, whether it be internally or externally.

    3. Limit Contact

    If possible, limit contact with your ex to give yourself space to heal and reflect on what went wrong and what you want moving forward. If you and your partner break up and you still talk to each other, then it isn’t a breakup. Continued contact can reopen wounds and prolong the healing process, making it harder to move on. No contact not only demonstrates self-respect by prioritizing your well-being and respecting your boundaries and needs but it respects the other person’s need for space and time to heal.

    4. Seek Support

    Surround yourself with supportive friends and family or consider going to therapy. Breakups can be very hard and can sometimes affect more than just yourself. It’s good to have people in your corner who support the decisions you make but will also be a shoulder to cry on. Having the support of your friends, family, and therapist can provide emotional support and comfort, validate your feelings, give you different perspectives on your situation, make you feel less alone, etc. Support accelerates the healing process by providing a safe space to express yourself.

    5. Reflect

    Use this time to reflect on the relationship, learn from it, and understand what you want and need moving forward. Reflect on what went wrong and what you could have done better. The reflection part of a breakup is what helps dive into your flaws and what you could do to become a better person. Not only does it help you figure out what you need to work on within yourself, but it also helps you realize what you do and don’t want in your person.

    You may also like: The Power of Self-Love: Becoming A Woman of High Value

    6. Set Boundaries

    Establish healthy boundaries for yourself to protect your emotional well-being. Setting boundaries is a crucial step in moving on from the past and opening yourself up to new possibilities. It allows you to focus on your healing process without interference, minimizing distractions that may hinder your emotional recovery. Clear boundaries prevent misunderstandings and limit the likelihood of mixed signals. It also allows you to detach from the relationship.

    7. Forgive

    Make sure to forgive yourself and your ex-partner. No, you will not always get the apology you deserve because many people don’t know how to apologize when they’re wrong. But holding onto resentment can hinder your healing process. Forgiveness releases you from the emotional burden of resentment, anger, and any negative feelings that may be holding you back. It helps prevent the feeling of bitterness which may impact your future relationships. Healing helps you break emotional ties with the person, allowing you to move forward without being hindered by unresolved emotions.

    8. Focus on Your Personal Growth

    Use this period as an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. Find a routine or hobby that will promote your well-being and help you become the person you’ve always wanted to be outside of a relationship. Work on your relationship with God, friends, family, etc. What are the things you weren’t able to focus on while in the relationship that you now have time for? Do the things you’ve always wanted to do that you had to put on hold due to the relationship. Read books, listen to podcasts, go to therapy, journal, meditate, and take some courses. The options are endless when it comes to personal growth.

    9. Be Patient

    Healing takes time, so be patient and kind to yourself throughout the process. Healing looks different for everyone, but it is linear. Having patience in the healing process cultivates self-compassion–allowing you to be kinder and more forgiving toward yourself along the way. You’ll learn to love and respect yourself more while you put all the attention on yourself. Anything worth having doesn’t come easy. When you’re willing to be patient for the something the results are always worth the process. No, you won’t get over your ex right away. No, you won’t stop thinking about them right away. No, getting under someone else will not make the self-love grow quicker. All of these things take time.

    Remember, all these key elements are what it takes to practice and maintain your self-worth, self-determination, and self-love.

  • 7 Signs You Are in a Situationship and What to Do About It

    7 Signs You Are in a Situationship and What to Do About It

    Are you in some kind of relationship but can’t quite define what it is? From the outside, it may look like a regular relationship, but deep down, you can feel that something is off. You might be in what is known as a “situationship.” If you’re unsure about your situation, keep an eye out for these seven signs you are in a situationship. Hop in! It’s time to gain clarity and find the happiness you deserve.

    What is a situationship?

    Situationships are a gray area between a casual fling and a committed relationship. They lack a clear definition, commitment, or the security of knowing where you stand. It’s a relationship that lacks a clear label, leaving you unsure if you’re “just friends,” “seeing each other,” or “dating.” Without a defined relationship status, it can be challenging to navigate the emotions and expectations that come with being in a situationship. Which is why I don’t recommend it.

    Sign #1: You haven’t defined the relationship

    One of the most telling signs that you’re in a situationship is the lack of a defined relationship. You may spend time together, go on dates, and even be intimate, but you haven’t had a conversation about what you both want from the relationship. This lack of clarity can leave you feeling confused and unsure about where you stand with the other person. Without defining the relationship, it’s challenging to set boundaries, establish expectations, and build a solid foundation for the future. It will leave you confused and emotionally drained.

    If you’ve defined the relationship, simply have that conversation or move on. Here are some steps you can take:

    1. Have an open and honest conversation: Talk to the other person about your feelings, desires, and expectations. Express your desire for a more committed relationship and see if they are on the same page.

    2. Set clear boundaries: Define what you’re comfortable with and establish boundaries that align with your needs and values. Communicate these boundaries to the other person and ensure that they are respected.

    3. Take time for self-reflection: Reflect on what you truly want from a relationship and whether the situationship aligns with your long-term goals. Consider whether it’s worth investing more time and emotions into a relationship that may not be able to meet your needs.

    4. Be prepared to walk away: If the other person is unwilling to commit or meet your needs, be prepared to walk away. It’s important to prioritize your happiness, even if it means letting go of a relationship that isn’t fulfilling.

    Sign #2: You only hang out at home

    Another sign that you’re in a situationship is if the majority of your time together is spent at home. While spending quality time at home can be enjoyable and intimate, it can also be a sign that the relationship lacks depth and progression. In a healthy relationship, couples engage in a variety of activities together, exploring new places, trying new things, and creating memories outside of the home. If your interactions are limited to Netflix series and takeout dinners, it’s worth questioning whether you’re in a situationship or a genuine, growing relationship.

    You can address this issue by expressing your desire to try new experiences together. Suggest going out for dinner, taking a day trip, or participating in activities that both of you enjoy.

    Sign #3: You haven’t met their friends or family

    In a committed relationship, meeting each other’s friends and family is a natural progression. It’s a sign that both parties are invested in each other and are willing to blend their lives. However, in a situationship, meeting friends and family is often avoided or delayed. This can be a clear indication that the other person is not interested in taking the relationship to the next level or introducing you to their inner circle. If you’ve been dating for a significant amount of time and have yet to meet any of their loved ones, it’s time to have a conversation about where the relationship is heading.

    Sign #4: You don’t make future plans together

    One of the defining features of a situationship is the absence of future plans. While casual flings might not require extensive planning, a situationship is meant to bridge the gap between casual dating and a committed relationship. If you find that you’re always living in the present without any discussions or commitments for the future, it’s a sign that the relationship lacks direction. Without a shared picture of the future, it’s difficult to build a solid foundation and work towards common goals. If you’ve expressed your desire for a more serious relationship and your partner is still hesitant to make future plans, it may be time to reassess the situation.

    Initiate a conversation about your future goals and aspirations. Share your desires and ask your partner about theirs.

    Sign #5: You’re not a priority

    In a healthy relationship, both partners prioritize each other’s needs and make each other a priority. However, in a situationship, it’s common to feel like you’re not a priority in the other person’s life. They may cancel plans last minute, prioritize their own needs over yours, or fail to make you feel valued and appreciated. Feeling like you’re not a priority can be emotionally draining and leave you questioning your self-worth.

    To address this issue, communicate your feelings and express your desire to be a priority in your partner’s life. You deserve to be with someone who values and prioritizes you.

    Sign #6: You avoid talking about the future

    One of the defining characteristics of a situationship is the avoidance of conversations about the future. While it’s normal to take things slow in the early stages of dating, avoiding discussions about the future for an extended period can be a red flag. If your partner consistently changes the subject or brushes off conversations about where the relationship is headed, it’s a sign that they may not be interested in a committed relationship. It’s important to have open and honest conversations about your intentions and expectations to avoid wasting your time and emotions on a relationship that may not have a future.

    Sign #7: You’re in a cycle of breaking up and getting back together

    A common pattern in situationships is the cycle of breaking up and getting back together. This can occur when one or both parties are unsure about their feelings or commitment level. The constant back and forth can be emotionally exhausting and prevent the relationship from progressing. It’s important to reflect on whether the relationship is healthy and fulfilling. It may be time to break the cycle and seek clarity and stability in a more committed relationship. Remember, healthy relations don’t require on and off.

    What to do about a situationship

    Being in a situationship can be confusing and emotionally draining. Its a complete waste of time and someone always ends up hurt in the end. It’s important to recognize the signs and take action to either define the relationship or move on. By having open and honest conversations, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your own needs, you can navigate the complexities of a situationship and find the clarity and happiness you deserve. Remember, you deserve a relationship that fulfills your needs and brings you joy. Don’t settle for anything less.

  • The Four Attachment Styles: Building Healthier Relationships

    The Four Attachment Styles: Building Healthier Relationships

    Image by Pexels from Pixabay

    Understanding the four attachment styles is key to unlocking the secrets to building strong connections. Let’s discuss the differences and explore their characteristics and how they shape our relationships.

    Attachment theory, developed by psychologist John Bowlby, suggests that our early experiences with caregivers deeply influence our adult relationships. The four attachment styles are secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganized. Each style has its unique set of behaviors and beliefs about intimacy, which can impact how we relate to others.

    Whether you’re striving to improve your existing relationships or create new ones, uncovering the secrets behind each one is valuable.

    What a lot of people don’t know is that attachment styles have a huge impact on how we form and maintain relationships.

    The Four Attachment Styles

    • Securely attached individuals tend to have healthier and more stable relationships, while anxiously and avoidantly attached individuals may struggle with emotional intimacy and trust.
    • Anxiously attached individuals may become overly dependent on their partners and may struggle with jealousy and possessiveness. They may also experience high levels of anxiety and emotional distress when their partners are unavailable or unresponsive.
    • Dismissively attached individuals may struggle with emotional intimacy and vulnerability, often distancing themselves from their partners and avoiding closeness. They may also struggle with empathy and emotional regulation.
    • Fearfully attached individuals may struggle with trust and emotional vulnerability, often avoiding close relationships altogether or becoming overly dependent on their partners. They may struggle with emotional regulation and may be at higher risk for trauma and abuse.

    Secure Attachment Style

    Individuals with a secure attachment style have a positive view of themselves and others. They are comfortable with intimacy and can trust and depend on their partners. They have a healthy balance of independence and interdependence in their relationships, and they can communicate their needs and emotions effectively.

    Securely attached individuals have likely had caregivers who were responsive to their needs and provided a secure base for them to explore the world. As adults, they are able to form healthy relationships based on trust, mutual respect, and emotional support.

    They often have satisfying and stable relationships. Securely attached individuals can provide a sense of stability and emotional support for anxiously and avoidantly attached partners. They can also model healthy communication and emotional regulation, helping their partners develop these skills.

    Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style

    Individuals with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style tend to have a negative view of themselves and a positive view of others. They crave intimacy and fear rejection, often becoming clingy and overly dependent on their partners. They are preoccupied with their relationships and can become easily overwhelmed by emotions.

    Anxiously attached individuals have likely had caregivers who were inconsistent in responding to their needs. As adults, they may struggle with feelings of abandonment and rejection and have difficulty trusting their partners.

    Individuals with an anxious attachment style crave closeness and fear abandonment. They often have a heightened sensitivity to signs of rejection or neglect. People with an anxious attachment may become clingy or possessive in relationships, seeking constant reassurance and validation.

    Anxiously attached individuals can benefit from learning to communicate their needs and emotions effectively and developing self-soothing strategies.

    Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Style

    Individuals with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style have a positive view of themselves and a negative view of others. They value independence and self-sufficiency and are uncomfortable with intimacy and emotional vulnerability. They may avoid emotional connections and may appear emotionally distant in relationships.

    Dismissively attached individuals have likely had caregivers who were unresponsive to their needs. As adults, they may have difficulty forming close relationships and may struggle with emotional intimacy.

    Those with an avoidant attachment value independence and self-reliance. They may have learned to suppress their emotions and avoid emotional intimacy. People with an avoidant attachment may also struggle with commitment and find it difficult to fully trust and open up to their partners.

    Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style

    The fearful-avoidant attachment style, also known as the disorganized attachment style, is characterized by a deep fear of intimacy and a desire for closeness at the same time. Individuals with this attachment style often have conflicting emotions and struggle to trust others.

    Individuals with a fearful-avoidant attachment have a negative view of themselves and others. They crave intimacy but fear rejection, often becoming avoidant and distant in relationships. They may struggle with trust and emotional vulnerability and may have a history of trauma or abuse.

    Fearfully attached individuals have likely had caregivers who were inconsistent or abusive in responding to their needs. As adults, they may have difficulty with emotional regulation and may struggle with forming healthy relationships.

    The disorganized attachment style is characterized by a mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors. People with a disorganized attachment may have experienced traumatic or abusive relationships in the past. They may struggle with regulating their emotions and have difficulties forming stable and healthy relationships.

    People with a fearful-avoidant attachment style may have had inconsistent or abusive caregiving in their early years, leading to a fear of being vulnerable and getting hurt. As a result, they may push others away to protect themselves or become clingy in relationships, constantly seeking reassurance.

    Avoidantly attached individuals can benefit from learning to be more emotionally open and vulnerable and developing empathy for their partners.

    How Attachment Styles Impact Relationships

    By gaining an understanding of your own attachment style, you can become more self-aware and navigate your relationships with greater insight. Moreover, recognizing the attachment styles of those around you can help you develop empathy and adapt your communication style accordingly.

    Building healthy relationships requires effort, patience, and a willingness to learn and grow. By prioritizing self-awareness and effective communication, you can unlock the secrets to building strong and lasting connections.

    Recognizing and Understanding Your Attachment Style

    Reflecting on your past experiences with caregivers and how they have shaped your beliefs and behaviors can provide insight into your attachment style.

    Consider the following questions:

    1. How do you typically respond to conflict or emotional needs in a relationship?

    2. Do you find it easy to trust others and open up emotionally?

    3. Are you comfortable with giving and receiving affection?

    4. How do you handle separations or distance in a relationship?

    Answering these questions honestly can help you identify patterns and tendencies that align with one of the four attachment styles. Remember, attachment styles are not fixed and can be influenced by personal growth and experiences.

    Building Healthier Relationships with Different Attachment Styles

    If you discover that your attachment style is impacting your relationships negatively, seeking therapy or counseling can be beneficial. A professional can help you unravel deep-seated beliefs and develop healthier relationship patterns.

    Building healthy relationships with different attachment styles requires empathy, understanding, and effective communication. If you are in a relationship with someone who has a different attachment than you, it is essential to recognize and respect their needs and boundaries.

    Attachment styles play a significant role in the dynamics of our relationships. They shape our expectations, behaviors, and responses to intimacy and closeness. Understanding how attachment styles impact relationships can help us navigate challenges and foster healthier connections.

  • 10 Important Questions to Discuss Before Moving in Together

    10 Important Questions to Discuss Before Moving in Together

    Moving in together is a big step in any relationship, and it’s important to make sure you are fully prepared. Before taking the plunge, there are certain questions you should be asking each other to ensure that you’re on the same page.

    It is essential to discuss your long-term goals and expectations. Do you both envision this as a temporary living arrangement, or as the first step towards marriage? Understanding each other’s goals will help you avoid potential conflicts down the road.

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    Secondly, finances should be a topic of conversation. Discussing your financial expectations will help set a solid foundation for your shared living expenses. Establishing clear expectations for household responsibilities will also help prevent future disputes.

    These are just a few of the important things you should be discussing before moving in together. By thoroughly discussing these topics, you will set yourselves up for a successful and harmonious living arrangement. So, don’t rush the decision – take the time to address these questions and ensure you’re ready to take this next step in your relationship.

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    The significance of moving in together

    Moving in together is a major milestone in a relationship. It signifies a new level of commitment and can bring you closer as a couple. However, it’s crucial to approach this decision with care and consideration. By asking the right questions and having open, honest conversations, you can ensure that you are making an informed decision that is right for both of you.

    1. Are we ready for this step?

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    The first question you should ask yourselves is whether you are ready to take this step. Moving in together is a big commitment and should not be taken lightly. Take the time to evaluate your relationship and ensure you are both ready to take this next step. Consider factors such as the length of your relationship, your level of compatibility, and your overall emotional readiness.

    2. What are our long-term goals?

    Before moving in together, discussing your long-term goals and expectations is essential. Do you both see this as a temporary living arrangement, or as the first step towards marriage? If you have different long-term goals, it’s good to discuss them openly and honestly and determine if you can find a compromise that works for both of you.

    3. How will we handle finances?

    Finances can be a major source of stress in any relationship. Before moving in together, it’s crucial to have a straightforward discussion about your financial expectations. Will you split all household expenses equally, or will you contribute based on each other’s income? Will you have a joint bank account or keep your finances separate? Establishing clear expectations for household expenses and financial responsibilities will help prevent future disputes.

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    4. How will household chores be divided?

    Living together means sharing household chores, and it’s important to establish a system that works for both of you. Discuss how you will divide the household chores and responsibilities. Who will do what? It’s also important to discuss your expectations for cleanliness. By setting clear expectations from the beginning, you can avoid potential conflicts and ensure a harmonious living environment.

    5. How will we handle conflicts and disagreements?

    No relationship is without disagreements, so it’s always good to have a plan for handling conflicts when they arise. Will you make an intention to always communicate openly and honestly with each other? How will you resolve conflicts and find common ground? Establishing effective communication strategies and conflict-resolution techniques will help you resolve any disagreement that may arise when living together.

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    6. What are our expectations for personal space and alone time?

    Living together means sharing space, but it’s important to respect each other’s need for personal space and alone time. Discuss your expectations for personal freedom and how you will create boundaries within your shared living space. It’s important to find a balance that allows each of you to have the privacy and alone time you need to recharge and maintain your individual identities within the relationship.

    7. How will we handle visits from family and friends?

    When you live together, it’s inevitable that family and friends will want to visit. Discuss how you will handle visits from family and friends. Will you have a guest room or a designated space for guests? How often will you be comfortable hosting guests? Sometimes guests are not always wanted. Make sure to ask if it’s okay if someone comes over. Remember, it’s their space just as it is yours.

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    8. What are our thoughts on marriage and children?

    Moving in together is a step towards building a life together, so it’s important to discuss your thoughts and plans for marriage and children. Are you both on the same page when it comes to these major life milestones? It’s crucial to have open and honest discussions about your expectations for the future and ensure that you are both heading in the same direction. So that no one wastes their time.

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    9. Are we prepared for potential changes in our relationship?

    Moving in together can bring about changes in your relationship dynamic. How you will navigate these changes and ensure that you maintain a healthy and balanced relationship. It’s important to be prepared for the adjustments that come with living together and to approach them with patience, understanding, and a willingness to adapt.

    10. What is our backup plan if things don’t work out?

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    While it’s not pleasant to think about, it’s important to have a backup plan in case things don’t work out. Discuss what will happen if you decide to break up or go your separate ways. It’s important to have a plan for separating your belongings, finding new living arrangements, and moving forward as individuals. Having a backup plan in place can provide peace of mind and help alleviate some of the stress and uncertainty that may come with the decision to move in together.

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    Moving in together is a big step in any relationship, and it’s important to approach it with open communication and a willingness to address important questions. By thoroughly discussing these topics, you will set yourselves up for a successful and pleasant living arrangement. So, don’t rush the decision – take the time to address these questions and ensure you’re ready to take this next step in your relationship.

  • Dating with Intention: How to Set Clear Relationship Goals and Find True Happiness

    Dating with Intention: How to Set Clear Relationship Goals and Find True Happiness

    In the ever-evolving world of modern dating, finding a genuine and fulfilling connection can sometimes seem like an impossible feat. With endless swiping, ghosting, and mixed signals, it’s easy to become frustrated and lose sight of what we truly want. But what if there was a way to approach dating with intention, set clear relationship goals, and ultimately find true happiness?

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    In this article, we will explore the concept of dating with intention and how it can transform your love life. Whether you’re looking for a committed partnership, a lifelong soulmate, or simply companionship, setting clear relationship goals can make all the difference. We will dive deep into the steps you can take to define your relationship goals, communicate them effectively, and attract the right kind of partner into your life.

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    By understanding and articulating your desires, values, and non-negotiables, you can create a roadmap that leads you to love and happiness. So, if you’re ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and intentional dating, join us as we delve into the world of setting clear relationship goals and finding true fulfillment in your love life.

    The benefits of dating with intention

    Dating with intention is the complete opposite of casual dating. When you’re dating intentionally, you’re looking for a certain outcome or end goal. You’re not here to casually waste anyone’s time or go with the flow. Your intentions are genuine and you know exactly what you want. People who date with purpose are often looking for something long-term.

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    Dating with intention offers numerous benefits that can enhance your overall dating experience and increase your chances of finding a compatible partner. When you approach dating with intention, you gain clarity on what you truly want in a relationship. This clarity helps you filter out potential partners who don’t align with your values and goals, saving you time and emotional energy.

    Moreover, dating with intention allows you to prioritize your needs and desires, ensuring that you don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. It empowers you to establish healthy boundaries and communicate your expectations early on, setting the stage for a more fulfilling and balanced relationship. By being intentional in your dating journey, you can also cultivate a stronger sense of self-awareness and personal growth.

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    Understanding the importance of setting relationship goals

    Setting relationship goals is crucial because it provides a roadmap for your dating journey. When you have clear goals, you can approach dating with purpose and direction, rather than simply going with the flow. Relationship goals help you define the type of connection you’re seeking, whether it’s a long-term commitment, marriage, or something more casual.

    Additionally, setting relationship goals allows you to align your actions and choices with your intentions. It helps you stay focused on what truly matters to you in a relationship, preventing you from getting sidetracked by distractions or settling for less than you deserve. By setting clear goals, you can also evaluate potential partners more objectively, assessing their compatibility based on your relationship criteria.

    This is not to say be stuck up or closed off. But be open to dating people who align with the same things that you want.

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    Common mistakes to avoid in dating

    While dating with intention can be incredibly rewarding, there are common mistakes that many people make along the way. One of the biggest mistakes is not taking the time to reflect on personal desires and values before entering the dating scene. Without this self-awareness, it’s easy to fall into relationships that are not aligned with your actual needs and aspirations.

    Another common mistake is rushing into a relationship without giving it proper consideration. Taking the time to get to know someone on a deeper level before committing can prevent heartache and disappointment down the line. It’s essential to be patient and not settle for a relationship that doesn’t meet your goals and expectations.

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    Identifying your core values and non-negotiables in a relationship

    Before setting relationship goals, it’s essential to identify your core values and non-negotiables. Core values are the fundamental beliefs that guide your life and shape your character. They are deeply ingrained and play a significant role in your relationships. Non-negotiables, on the other hand, are the qualities or traits that you cannot compromise on in a partner.

    To identify your core values and non-negotiables, take the time to reflect on what truly matters to you in a relationship. Think about the qualities you admire in others, as well as the deal-breakers that you simply cannot overlook. Your core values and non-negotiables will serve as the foundation for your relationship goals, guiding you in your search for a compatible partner.

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    Defining your relationship goals

    Once you have defined your relationship goals, it’s time to create a plan to achieve them. Start by breaking down your goals into smaller, actionable steps. For example, if one of your goals is to improve your communication skills in a relationship, you can set a plan to read books on effective communication, attend workshops, or seek the guidance of a relationship coach, etc.

    Additionally, it’s important to set realistic timelines for your goals. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your ideal relationship. Give yourself the time and space to grow and learn along the way. Remember, dating with intention is a journey, and the process of achieving your relationship goals is just as important as the end result.

    Finding compatible partners who share your relationship goals

    Once you have clarity on your relationship goals, it becomes easier to attract partners who share the same aspirations. Be open and honest about your intentions when dating, and communicate your goals early on in the relationship. This will help filter out individuals who are not aligned with your vision and attract those who are seeking a similar connection.

    Additionally, it’s important to actively seek out environments and communities where you’re likely to meet like-minded individuals. This could include attending social events, joining interest-based clubs or organizations, or exploring online dating platforms that cater to individuals looking for meaningful relationships. Surrounding yourself with people who share your relationship goals increases your chances of finding a compatible partner.

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    Effective communication in dating and building a strong foundation

    Communication is key in any relationship, and it’s especially important when dating with intention. Be open and honest about your desires, boundaries, and expectations from the beginning. Effective communication allows you and your partner to build a strong foundation based on trust, understanding, and shared goals.

    Listen actively to your partner’s needs and concerns, and strive for open and non-judgmental communication. Be willing to compromise and find common ground, while also respecting each other’s individuality and personal growth. Remember, intentional dating is about finding a partner who supports your goals and aspirations, and effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

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    Nurturing a healthy and fulfilling relationship

    Once you have found a partner who aligns with your relationship goals, it’s important to nurture the relationship and ensure its long-term success. Continuously work on building trust, fostering emotional intimacy, and supporting each other’s personal growth. Keep the lines of communication open and make an effort to create shared experiences and memories.

    Conclusion: Finding true happiness through intentional dating

    Additionally, be mindful of the importance of self-care and maintaining a healthy balance between your relationship and other aspects of your life. Remember that a relationship should enhance your happiness and personal fulfillment, not define it. By nurturing a healthy and fulfilling relationship, you can experience true happiness and find long-lasting love.

  • 6 Factors For Cultivating a Healthy Friendship

    6 Factors For Cultivating a Healthy Friendship

    Image by Eira from Pixabay

    A healthy friendship is that one part of life that most people take for granted. This not only applies to friendships, but relationships in general. When you start to looking at friends you meet long-term, it is easy to know whether or not that person will be around for long.

    The same way you approach dating for potential life-long partners. You should also look potential life-long friendships in the same instance.

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    Safe Spaces

    It’s essential that you create a space for your circle to feel vulnerable. A judge-free zone is the core to a healthy friendship. Making someone comfortable to share themselves with you no matter what is creating a safe space. Safe spaces are important because they open the opportunity to share and express oneself without the fear or being ridiculed or judged.

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    Accountability

    Being able to hold each other accountable no matter how they may feel, is critical for a genuine, adult friendship. According to Investopedia, accountability is the acceptance of responsibility for one’s own actions. Being able to hold someone to their actions, whether right or wrong. That’s when you know when there is respect in the friendship…when there is ample room for accountability.

    Support

    One thing I’ve learned is not being there for someone when they need you can very hurtful. Whether you realize it or not…support is something we as humans need. Let your friend know that they have your full support, and ACTUALLY be supportive. Lift them up, be that shoulder to cry on, let them share their feelings with you. Support is being there for one another whenever they need you, through the good and bad.

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    Trust

    I think it’s safe to say that this goes for any relationship. Without trust, you don’t have a foundation to build on. To be able to depend on your friend to be honest, to be yourself around, you can share your dreams, thoughts and secrets without feeling judged.

    Now, of course trust is something that has to be built. Communication, honesty, and time builds trust for a lasting, healthy friendship. I can’t imagine a healthy friendship without trust.

    Love

    Love one another. Cherish one another. Care for them, and want the best for them. Love is such a strong feeling for a person, and of course, you have compassionate love and romantic love. For a platonic, healthy friendship to be genuine, there must be compassion.

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    Discernment

    Being able to discern genuine friends from those that aren’t so genuine. Discernment is the ability to judge well. A core process in weeding the good from the bad. Unfortunately, people come with ulterior motives or some people just weren’t raised to be good people. Its up to you to decide whether a person is a good friend to have around or someone who may put you in an uncomfortable situation.

  • Toxic Relationship Habits People Think Are Normal

    Toxic Relationship Habits People Think Are Normal

    Image by mohamed_hassan from Pixabay

    Sometimes we enter relationships and have bad toxic habits that we think are normal when they’re not. Habits that are more than likely normalized by the new generations. I’m here to tell you about them and why they are unhealthy. I am guilty of some of these habits so we’re learning better habits together. Which is all the personal growth journey is about.

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    Table of contents

    1) Blowing someone’s cell phone up

    It can be easy to get caught up in your emotions when you’re upset or sad, or when you want to talk to someone. Constantly calling and texting someone when you want to speak to them and they’re not answering is inappropriate. If they don’t answer the phone the first time, give them time to return the call. It shows a lack of respect and boundaries. Unless something is wrong and it’s an emergency, then the person might really have a life and is busy. On top of all that, it can come off a bit crazy.

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    2) Calling them out of their name

    Your partner calling you out of your name is one of the biggest signs of disrespect. Vulgarity in general shouldn’t be used to get a point across. It’s disrespectful and is completely out of line. If it’s not your name, a term of endearment, or a puppy name then it should not fly.

    3) Blocking/Unblocking

    The entire point of blocking someone is so that the person has no way to contact you. Intentionally blocking someone to make them upset is childlike behavior. Blocking and unblocking someone is not a healthy way to communicate when issues arise. If anything, it always makes the situation worse. If you really need to block someone, please do it logically and keep them blocked.

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    4) Bringing out the worst in you

    When you start doing things you wouldn’t normally do, it’s not a healthy situation. Let’s use revenge cheating as an example. If you’re the type of person who is totally against cheating, and you find yourself cheating just to get back at your partner. next thing you know, you’ve backtracked on your morals. This leads me to my next toxic relationship habit…

    5) Cheating

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    We all know that cheating is one of the most terrible acts you can commit, and there isn’t much left that needs to be said about it. Cheating will not only destroy the relationship, but it also destroys trust, character, self-esteem, and sense of self-worth. It shows lack of morals and self-control.

    6) Gaslighting

    According to Psychology Today, gaslighting is a form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. When someone is doing this to you, nine times out of ten, they won’t change. Leave.

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    7) No respect for boundaries

    When you have rules set for yourself and your partner does not respect your limitations or violates them then they simply do not care. You most likely won’t agree on a lot of things, which makes it hard to work with. Don’t ignore the signs. They will also not take you seriously, because you don’t even take your boundaries seriously.

    8) Not Defining the Relationship

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    Don’t ever settle. Once you’ve made it clear you know what you want, stand on it. When someone is hesitant about what their plans are with you, then that should be loud and clear. They may want something, just not with you. Situationships are a complete waste of time and energy and someone always gets hurt in the end.

    The only way for a situationship to work out successfully is if both parties agree on it and are aware of what it may come with. If someone is okay with “going with the flow”, there are normally other parts of their lives they have also been “going with the flow” with. There are no clear intentions with you or their life.

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    9) Inconsistency

    If someone is in and out of your life, take that as a sign, and leave them alone. Someone who has genuine intentions and concern for you and your feelings will provide clarity without confusion. It is up to you to decide whether to deal with the inconsistency or not.

    10) Ghosting during difficult times

    toxic relationship habits
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    Ghosting someone is one of the most spineless and inconsiderate things you can do. If they don’t care enough to communicate with you, they are a coward. Everyone knows that communication is the key to a healthy relationship. It is immature to leave someone hanging, period. Never take someone ghosting you personally. It has everything to do with how they handle situations, and nothing to do with you.

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    11) Policing One’s Character

    For instance, your boyfriend telling you “Please don’t do ABC, my friends don’t like it when you do that.” is policing your character and is controlling. Controlling what your partner does (or wears), is one toxic habit most people don’t even believe is manipulating.

    12) Entitlement

    Entitlement is the belief that one is deserving of certain privileges and/or benefits without having to earn them. People who feel entitled tend to lack self-awareness, lack of empathy, a sense of victimhood, or a lack of understanding of privilege; and all of these things are toxic.

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    13) Not communicating one’s feelings

    This is something so many people have a hard time with. Once you open yourself up you may be scared that you’ll be taken advantage of when the truth is, that only happens with the wrong people. With the right person, communication goes a long way. Vulnerability is a characteristic that a true leader carries. Once you’ve mastered it, it’ll take you far. So many things could be fixed with a simple conversation.

  • Are Dating Apps Ruining Modern Dating Culture?

    Are Dating Apps Ruining Modern Dating Culture?

    Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

    Apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble are taking over the dating arena, which makes dating easily obtainable these days. Back then, we were forced to actually meet people first but now, we have more expansive options. Although online dating has been around for more than a decade with websites like Facebook, dating apps have just recently become the new thing.

    There’s been an ongoing debate on whether these apps are just for hookups or if people actually meet their person. According to Earthweb.com, there are 413 million people using dating apps in 2022 worldwide.

    people using dating apps by group

    Here are some negative effects of dating apps…

    1. Can Create A Cycle of Constant Dissatisfaction

    When you have so many options to choose from and none of them meet your expectations, it’s easy to just pick another partner with one swipe away. But this can lead to disappointment time after time, which might cause you to end up losing hope.

    2. Can Alter Your Views On Dating As A Whole

    After a while, you may start to give up hope that you’ll never find someone after so many failed attempts, conversations, and potential dates. You could begin to think, “Is there something wrong with me”? or is has the dating game gone downhill?

    3. Hookup Culture Has Ruined Dating Apps

    Image by Sabrina from Pixabay

    There are a lot of people on these apps that are looking for some temporary satisfaction while others are looking for something more, long-term. While there are apps specifically for hookups, these people tend to take over the apps that were made for something totally different. Which can be frustrating for some.

    4. You’re Choosing Someone Based Solely On Looks

    Don’t get me wrong, looks do matter but they shouldn’t be the reason you ultimately want to date a person. With dating apps, you have to decide if you are interested in a person based on their picture. Would it be a bad idea to read a bio before you see a picture? Just to get a glimpse of the personality first?

    5. People Will Match, But Won’t Make The First Move

    A friend of mine told me that this was something that really bothered them. They would match with a few people, but most wouldn’t actually make the first move which can be irritating because it feels like they are just on the app solely for an ego boost.

    Image by Justin Martin from Pixabay

    Here are some positive effects…

    7. They Help People Connect

    Although we have other social media platforms such as FB, Twitter, and Instagram that can be used to connect with other people. Dating apps are designed for a specific goal, weeding out unnecessary conversations.

    8. They Can Either Lower or Boost Your Self-Esteem

    Some people get non-stop matches when they are on the app while others may rarely get any matches at all. This can either boost your ego or destroy it, choose wisely.

    9. You Might Actually Meet The Love Of Your Life

    According to Cloudware.net, about 54% of the people that use dating apps actually end up with someone. Only 13% of those people actually end up engaged or married.

    10. You’re Able To Get To Know Someone Before The Meetup

    You get the option to text a little/have phone conversations, and creep their social profiles before actually deciding if you would actually want to spend your time with this person. Because time is so precious, we don’t want to waste it on those we don’t even see ourselves having a future with.

    11. It Expands Dating Options Outside Your Specific Location

    Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

    If you start to feel like you’re having a hard time meeting someone nice in your city or state, you have the option to get to know other people from anywhere and everywhere, right at your fingertips.

    12. They’re Easy And Convenient

    For those who don’t have the free time to go out and meet people organically, dating apps are more convenient and help out a lot to get to know multiple people all at once. Then, when you’ve met someone you can figure out a time to meet around your busy schedule.

    Image by Bingo Naranjo from Pixabay

    Thank you for reading!