She Informs

Category: Life

Navigate through topics that touch every facet of life. Your compass for a fulfilling and purpose-driven life.

  • Starting Over As A Woman in Your 20s/30s: What No One Tells You

    Starting Over As A Woman in Your 20s/30s: What No One Tells You

    Starting over is often framed as something you do after failure…a breakup, a layoff, a burnout, or a life decision that didn’t pan out the way you expected. But for many women in their 20s and 30s, starting over isn’t about failure at all. It’s about outgrowing a version of life that no longer fits.

    What no one tells you is that starting over as a woman isn’t glamorous, linear, or empowering every single day. It’s messy. It’s quiet. And sometimes, it feels lonelier than staying stuck.

    Here’s the truth about starting over that doesn’t make it into highlight reels, but matters the most.

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    Starting Over Doesn’t Always Come With Clarity

    There’s a common myth that when you decide to start over, everything suddenly “clicks.” You’re supposed to know your purpose, your next career move, your boundaries, and your long-term plan.

    In reality, starting over often begins with confusion, grief, and uncertainty.

    You may know what you don’t want before you understand what you do want. And that limbo phase, where nothing feels certain but everything feels necessary, is one of the hardest parts.

    This stage doesn’t mean you’re lost. It means you’re in transition.

    You’ll Mourn Versions of Yourself You Thought You’d Be

    One of the quietest pains of starting over is grieving the life you assumed you’d have by now.

    • The career you thought you’d be settled into
    • The relationship you imagined lasting
    • The version of yourself who “had it all figured out”

    Starting over requires acknowledging that some dreams expire, and that’s not a personal failure. Its growth.

    You can miss an old version of your life while still knowing you made the right choice to move forward.

    Comparison Will Hit Harder Than Ever

    In your 20s and 30s, everyone appears to be hitting milestones on different timelines:

    • Engagements
    • Babies
    • Promotions
    • Homeownership
    • Financial stability

    When you’re starting over, comparison becomes louder. Social media can make it feel like you’re behind, late, or off-track, even when you’re exactly where you need to be.

    What no one tells you is that starting over requires radical self-trust. You have to believe that your path doesn’t need to mirror anyone else’s to be valid.

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    Starting Over Can Be Financially Uncomfortable

    This part is rarely discussed honestly.

    Starting over may mean:

    • Taking a pay cut
    • Living with less
    • Going back to school
    • Investing in yourself without immediate returns

    Financial discomfort doesn’t mean you made a bad decision. It means you’re building something instead of maintaining something that wasn’t working.

    Progress doesn’t always look like upward movement; sometimes it looks like a reset.

    You May Outgrow People, And That’s Painful

    As you change, your relationships change too.

    Some people won’t understand your decision to start over. Others may project fear, judgment, or insecurity onto you. Some relationships simply won’t survive your growth.

    Starting over often requires choosing alignment over familiarity, and that choice can feel deeply lonely before it feels empowering.

    But the truth is: the right people will meet you where you’re going, not where you’ve been.

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    Confidence isn’t immediate; it’s Rebuilt Slowly

    Starting over can shake your confidence. You may question your decisions, your instincts, and your worth.

    Confidence doesn’t magically return once you “restart.” It’s rebuilt through:

    • Small wins
    • Keeping promises to yourself
    • Doing uncomfortable things consistently

    What no one tells you is that confidence after starting over is stronger than before, because it’s rooted in experience, not assumptions.

    You’re Not Late, You’re Becoming

    Perhaps the most important truth of all…starting over isn’t a delay. It’s a recalibration.

    You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not wasting time.

    You’re becoming more self-aware, more intentional, and more aligned than ever before.

    Starting over as a woman in your 20s or 30s isn’t the end of your story — it’s often the moment it finally becomes yours.

    Starting Over Is Brave, Even When It’s Quiet

    Choosing to start over doesn’t always look bold on the outside. Sometimes it looks like silent decisions, private tears, and choosing yourself without applause.

    But choosing to start over, especially when staying would be easier, is one of the bravest things a woman can do.

    And no one tells you this enough:
    You don’t need permission to begin again.

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  • 10 Powerful Mindset Shifts Every Woman Should Make

    10 Powerful Mindset Shifts Every Woman Should Make

    The journey to personal development often begins with transforming how we think. For women navigating today’s complex and harsh world, specific mindset shifts can be a life-changing experience, helping us as women overcome societal conditioning and unlock our full potential.

    Here are a few common limitations women place on themselves that should result in a mindset shift.

    1. From “I’m Not Ready” to “I’ll Learn as I Go”

    Many women wait to feel completely prepared before pursuing opportunities. Research shows that men typically apply for jobs when they meet 60% of qualifications, while women wait until they meet 100%. Embracing imperfection and viewing challenges as learning opportunities open doors to growth and advancement. No one is ever really 100% for anything, and choosing to wait for perfection to do something may never happen.

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    2. From “I Need to” to “I Will”

    Turning obligations into conscious choices transforms the weight of expectations into empowered decisions. Instead of “I need to lose weight,” try “I will prioritize my health.” This shift encourages self-sufficiency and authentic decision-making rather than compliance with external pressures. Taking back control over your own life will feel extremely empowering. It’s easy to acknowledge the things we know we need to do, but it takes a different mindset to make these changes.

    3. From “Either/Or” to “Both/And”

    Society often presents false contradictions: career or family, ambition or kindness, success or likeability. Rejecting these hypocritical choices allows women to embrace complexity and create slight solutions that honor multiple priorities and aspirations.

    How about family AND career? Women are always the ones who have to put one or the other on the shelf because, for some odd reason, it can’t be both (sarcastically). This ends today, and it ends with you.

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    4. From “What Will Others Think?” to “What Do I Want?”

    Women are often socialized to prioritize others’ opinions over their own judgment. Shifting the focus to internal validation builds confidence and authenticity. While considering others’ perspectives can be valuable, your own insights and values should guide key life decisions.

    You are the only one who has to live YOUR life, so you should always live your life on your own terms and no one else’s. Who cares what anyone else thinks, anyway?

    5. From “I’m Behind” to “I’m on My Own Timeline”

    The pressure to hit certain milestones at specific ages can create unnecessary stress, anxiety, and even depression in most cases. Every woman’s path is unique and shaped by individual circumstances, choices, and opportunities. Success isn’t a race but a personal journey of growth and achievement. No two people’s walks are identical.

    Its easy to look at social media and see what everyone else is accomplishing. But it’s important to remember that social media is not reality. For some people, there isn’t much happiness behind the doors of a social media post. If you’d put as much focus on your own life as you do on others, you’d be unstoppable.

    6. From “I’m Not Enough” to “I’m Growing and Learning”

    Perfectionism and imposter syndrome disproportionately affect women. Adopting a growth mindset reframes perceived inadequacies as opportunities for development. Your worth isn’t determined by your current capabilities but by your willingness to evolve.

    If you often struggle with the feeling that you are not enough, then there are deeper issues. Maybe it stems from your childhood. Maybe you grew up around people who poured nothing but negativity into you. There’s always a reason or root cause for the way we think about ourselves, and it’s up to us to take care of those limiting thoughts as soon as possible so that it does not hinder our growth.

    7. From “I Need Permission” to “I Trust My Judgment”

    Many women unconsciously seek approval before taking action. Recognizing and trusting your own judgment builds leadership capabilities and personal control. While collaboration is valuable, you don’t need permission to pursue your goals or speak your truth.

    Yes, while I do believe opinions from others are needed in certain situations, they are not needed for you to make decisions in your own life. If you can’t make a decision on your own, then you do not trust yourself.

    8. From “I Can’t” to “How Can I?”

    When facing obstacles, shifting from statements of impossibility to questions of process opens up creative solutions. This mindset shift promotes problem-solving and resilience rather than defeat and complete and utter limitation.

    I firmly believe that people who claim they can’t do something they’ve never tried will not get far in life. Words are powerful, and whatever you speak in your life will most likely be the outcome. After all, you never know unless you try.

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    9. From “I’ll Help” to “I’ll Lead”

    While supporting others is valuable, women often default to helper roles rather than stepping into leadership. Embracing leadership opportunities doesn’t diminish your ability to support others; it amplifies your impact and inspires other women.

    Leading can be scary at first, but you must have the confidence to know that everyone has a start, including you. Even if you are not the most confident, showing the slightest bit of confidence is one of the many things that make a great leader.

    10. From “Success or Wellbeing” to “Success Through Wellbeing”

    Redefining success to include personal well-being challenges the idea that achievement requires sacrifice of health, relationships, or joy. Sustainable success builds on a foundation of self-care, boundaries, and balanced living. In fact, you MUST put yourself first to become successful because success and lack or personal well-being are not synonymous.

    These mindset shifts represent more than positive thinking—they’re fundamental changes in how women perceive themselves and their possibilities. Implementation takes time and practice, but each small shift creates ripples of transformation in personal and professional life.

    Remember that changing ingrained thought patterns is a journey, not a destination. Start with one shift that resonates most strongly, practice it consistently, and gradually incorporate others. The cumulative effect of these mindset changes can profoundly impact your confidence, decisions, and ultimate success in creating the life you envision.

  • Is Social Media Causing Insecurities? Let’s Talk Body Image

    Is Social Media Causing Insecurities? Let’s Talk Body Image

    Social media has many positive aspects, however, there is a darker side that often goes unnoticed – body image insecurities.

    Image by Capsula Nudes from Pixabay

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    As we scroll through our feeds, we are bombarded with perfectly filtered and edited images of idealized bodies, creating unrealistic standards of beauty. Studies have shown that exposure to these images can lead to feelings of inadequacy, comparison, and a distorted sense of self. As a result, many individuals, especially young people, are struggling with body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and low self-esteem.

    The impact of social media on body image

    Instagram, in particular, with its focus on visual content, has become a hotbed for showcasing unrealistic beauty standards. The constant exposure to these images can lead to a negative impact on mental health. According to research, individuals who spend more time on social media are more likely to experience body dissatisfaction and engage in appearance-based comparisons.

    Furthermore, social media has also created a space for cyberbullying, where individuals are targeted based on their appearance. This can enhance body image insecurities and lead to long-lasting emotional damage.

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    The role of influencers and celebrities in promoting unrealistic beauty standards

    Influencers and celebrities often play a significant role in shaping societal beauty standards through their social media presence. With their large followings and influence, they have the power to shape the perception of what is considered beautiful. However, many influencers and celebrities heavily rely on editing tools, filters, and risky surgeries to present an unattainable image of perfection.

    This curated online persona can be damaging to individuals who compare themselves to these “seemingly” flawless individuals. It’s important to remember that these images are often heavily edited and do not reflect reality. However, the impact on self-esteem and body image insecurities can be significant, especially for impressionable young people who are more vulnerable to these influences.

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    You may also like: Why Taking a Digital Detox is a Prescription for Your Well-Being

    It’s important to remember that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and everyone’s journey to self-acceptance is unique. By recognizing the harmful effects of comparison culture and actively challenging it, we can begin to foster a healthier relationship with our bodies.

    Social media addiction and its link to body image dissatisfaction

    Social media addiction has become a growing concern in today’s society, with individuals spending excessive amounts of time online. By showcasing diverse body types and celebrating all forms of beauty, we can empower individuals to embrace their unique selves. It’s important to amplify voices that challenge societal norms and encourage self-acceptance. Going back to what social media used to be.

    Constantly scrolling through social media feeds can lead to a never-ending cycle of comparison, as individuals are bombarded with images of fake perfect bodies. This constant exposure can reinforce negative beliefs about one’s own appearance and contribute to low self-esteem.

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    To combat social media addiction and its impact on body image, it’s important to set boundaries and practice mindful usage. Taking breaks from social media and focusing on activities that promote self-care and positive self-image can help break the cycle of addiction and promote a healthier relationship with social media.

    It’s important to remember that social media is perception and not reality. Everything you see online is not always what it seems. Do not feed into what social media has become. Instead of feeding into the fake social media persona, be authentically you and you will be more respected.

    Let’s use social media as a tool for empowerment and self-acceptance, and encourage others to do the same. Together, we can make a positive change in the way we perceive ourselves and others, one post at a time.

  • Balancing Act: How to Juggle Work, Family, and Self-Care

    Balancing Act: How to Juggle Work, Family, and Self-Care

    Many women often find themselves struggling to balance the demands of work, family, and their personal well-being. It can be a struggle trying to balance your and your families lives all at the same time. The pressures to excel in their careers while nurturing their families and maintaining their health can often feel overwhelming. However, with careful planning and self-awareness, women can juggle these responsibilities while still prioritizing their self-care successfully.

    1. Time Management

    If you’re anything like me, using technology tools like calendars and reminder apps to stay organized and on track with deadlines and appointments helps a lot. Staying organized by writing things out and time management techniques such as setting priorities, creating schedules, and delegating tasks are key to ensuring that both work and family commitments are met.

    2. Stay Positive

    It’s important to always stay positive in stressful situations. Staying calm can help you get things done a lot more efficiently. Staying positive while trying to juggle work, family, and self-care helps your mental health stay intact in more ways than you think. It can also help reduce the harmful health effects of stress on your body.

    3. Set Clear Boundaries

    Biting off more than you can chew is causing yourself unnessecary stress. If you know you cannot do something, you must know when to say no. Set clear boundaries between work and family time to prevent burnout and maintain a healthy work-life balance. That includes communicating openly with employers, family members, and friends about your limitations to advocate time for both work responsibilities and family commitments.

    4. Prioritize Self-Care

    Self-care can look different for everyone. You have to first recognize how important self-care is to your well-being. Schedule regular time for self-care activities such as exercise, relaxation, hobbies, and socializing to recharge and rejuvenate. Without routine self-care, you may find yourself stuck in a cycle you may never get out of. In the midst of getting everything done, make sure to set a day or two aside to do whatever it is you want to do, not have to do. You deserve it.

    5. Seek Help and Support

    Asking for help is a huge component of being able to juggle everything in your life. Build a support network of friends, family, and colleagues who can provide assistance and encouragement during challenging times. Unpopular opinion…you should not surround yourself with people who won’t help you when you need it.

    6. Stay Organized

    As I’ve mentioned before, being organized is what helps you stay on top of everything. If you are not the most organized person then you may need to begin writing things down. I am a to-do list type of person because that is what helps me get everything done in the time I allocate for it. I can’t stress enough how helpful it is by writing everything down. Having a daily planner that I keep helps me tremendously by keeping track of everything I need to get done for the day.

    Balancing work, family, and self-care can be a challenging juggling act for women, but with the right strategies and mindset, it is achievable. By prioritizing time management, establishing boundaries, seeking support, prioritizing self-care, and embracing flexibility, women can successfully navigate the demands of modern life while still taking care of themselves and their loved ones. Remember, it’s not about achieving perfection but rather finding a sustainable balance that allows for fulfillment and well-being in all aspects of life.

  • Boundaries 101: Understanding the Importance of Setting Limits

    Boundaries 101: Understanding the Importance of Setting Limits

    In today’s fast-paced world, maintaining a healthy work-life balance can feel like an unattainable dream. That’s where setting boundaries comes into play. Boundaries defined as limitations are far from the truth. Understanding the importance of setting personal and professional limits is crucial for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

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    By setting clear boundaries, we create guidelines for how others can treat us and what we are willing to accept. These boundaries protect our time, energy, and personal space, allowing us to prioritize our own needs without feeling overwhelmed or taken advantage of. In this article, we dive deep into the world of boundaries, exploring their significance in both personal and professional settings. Whether you struggle with saying no to extra work, have difficulty setting aside time for self-care, or find it challenging to specify boundaries with friends and family, this article will provide the guidance and techniques you need to flourish in all areas of your life.

    The importance of setting boundaries

    Boundaries serve as essential markers that define our personal space and mental well-being. They act as a protective shield, preventing others from crossing the line and disturbing our emotional and physical boundaries. Without clear boundaries, we risk becoming overwhelmed, stressed, and drained, which can have serious consequences on our overall health and happiness.

    Setting boundaries is not about being selfish or inflexible; it’s about respecting ourselves and asserting our needs. By setting boundaries, we communicate our limits to others, allowing them to understand what is acceptable and what is not. This empowers us to create a healthy balance between our personal and professional lives, encouraging better relationships and enhancing our overall well-being.

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    Types of boundaries defined – personal and professional

    Boundaries come in various forms, and it’s essential to recognize the different types to effectively execute them in our lives. Personal boundaries refer to the limits we set in our personal relationships, friendships, and interactions with others. These boundaries define our comfort levels, personal values, and the kind of treatment we expect from others.

    On the other hand, professional boundaries are vital for maintaining a healthy work environment and preventing burnout. These boundaries involve setting limits on the amount of work we take on, establishing clear communication pipelines, and defining our availability outside of working hours. By setting professional boundaries, we safeguard our mental and physical well-being, ensuring we have the energy and focus to excel in our careers.

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    Signs of boundary violations

    Recognizing when our boundaries are being disregarded is crucial for maintaining our well-being. Some common signs of boundary violations include feeling overwhelmed, constantly sacrificing personal time for others, experiencing emotional exhaustion, and feeling taken advantage of. These signs serve as red flags that our boundaries are not being respected, and it’s time to take action.

    Boundary violations can happen in various settings, be it personal relationships, friendships, or the workplace. It’s important to pay attention to these signs and address them promptly to prevent further damage to our mental and emotional health.

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    The consequences of not setting boundaries

    Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

    Failing to set boundaries can have severe consequences on our overall well-being. Without clear limits, we risk becoming overwhelmed, stressed and burnt out. Our personal and professional lives start to blend together, leaving little time for self-care and relaxation. This can lead to decreased productivity, strained relationships, and even physical health issues.

    Not setting boundaries can also result in others taking advantage of our time, energy, and resources. This can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and a loss of self-esteem. By neglecting to establish boundaries, we allow others to dictate our lives, leaving little room for personal growth and fulfillment.

    How to set personal boundaries

    Here are some practical strategies to establish effective personal boundaries:

    1. Identify your limits and values: Reflect on your values and what is important to you. This will help you establish clear boundaries that align with your beliefs and needs.

    2. Communicate assertively: Clearly communicate your boundaries to others in a calm and assertive manner. Use “I” statements to express your needs and expectations, and be firm in standing your ground.

    3. Practice self-care: Prioritize self-care activities that recharge and rejuvenate you. This sends a signal to others that you value your well-being and need time for yourself.

    Remember, setting personal boundaries is a continuous journey.

    How to set professional boundaries

    In the professional sphere, setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance and preventing burnout. Here are some strategies to help you establish effective professional boundaries:

    1. Define your working hours: Clearly communicate your working hours to colleagues and clients. Set boundaries around when you are available and ensure you have designated time for rest and relaxation.

    2. Delegate and prioritize tasks: Learn to delegate tasks and prioritize your workload effectively. This will prevent you from becoming overwhelmed and help you maintain a manageable workload.

    3. Say no when necessary: It’s okay to say no when you feel overwhelmed or when a request goes beyond your capabilities. Saying no assertively and respectfully is vital for establishing boundaries and preventing overload.

    Remember, setting professional boundaries is essential for your long-term success and well-being. It allows you to excel in your career without sacrificing your personal life.

    Tips for maintaining boundaries

    Maintaining boundaries is an ongoing process that requires consistent effort and self-awareness. Here are some tips to help you maintain your boundaries:

    1. Practice self-awareness: Regularly check in with yourself to consider whether your boundaries are being respected and if any adjustments are needed.

    2. Surround yourself with supportive individuals: Cultivate relationships with people who respect and understand the importance of boundaries. Surrounding yourself with supportive individuals will make it easier to maintain your own boundaries.

    3. Practice self-care: Prioritize self-care activities that help you recharge and replenish your energy. Taking care of yourself allows you to set and maintain boundaries effectively.

    Conclusion and the benefits of setting boundaries

    In conclusion, setting personal and professional boundaries is crucial for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. By establishing clear limits, we protect ourselves from becoming overwhelmed, stressed, and burnt out. Boundaries empower us to prioritize our needs, establish healthy relationships, and maintain a healthy work-life balance.

    Setting boundaries is not about being selfish or rigid; it’s about respecting ourselves and asserting our needs. Additionally, by communicating our boundaries effectively, we foster better relationships, enhance our overall well-being, and create a more balanced and fulfilling life.

    Unlock the power of boundaries, and start living a life where you are in control of your time, energy, and personal space. Set your boundaries today and experience the profound benefits they bring to all areas of your life. Remember, boundaries are not obstacles; they are foundations for a healthier and happier you.

  • 19 Harsh Truths About Life

    19 Harsh Truths About Life

    These harsh truths about life might ruffle some feathers, but they must be said. Once you hit a certain age and have experienced some things you realize more and more that life is a continuous learning lesson. Some things you can control and some you can’t.

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    Table of contents

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    1. No matter what you do, not everyone will like you.

    You could be one of the sweetest, nicest, or most loving people in the world. There will be people that are not so fond of you and you will not be able to regulate that. It could stem from jealousy or insecurity, either way, it is something you cannot 100% avoid.

    2. Attractive people do get the better end of the stick.

    Unfortunately, looks do matter whether we like it or not. We live in a judgmental, and shallow society, that places attractive people on a pedestal. The better you look, the better you’re treated, the more you are respected, and the more opportunities you receive.

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    3. Love comes when you least expect it. Not when you go looking for it.

    It will come into your life and you may be ready for it or you may not if you’re ready, good. If you’re not ready, you’ll get prepared for the right person. Trust the process. True love is beautiful.

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    4. Consuming alcohol and drugs harms you more than it helps you.

    Two of the most toxic habits we can participate in. Yes, drinking can be fun! Doing drugs pumps adrenaline. Both even might make you feel better temporarily, but depending on them can make you stagnant, and lazy, and even harm you physically. When done excessively, both can take years from your life. If you can cut back on them, good. If you can cut them out of your life, even better!

    Read: Toxic Habits to Stop for A Better Life

    5. If you don’t heal from your childhood, it will affect most of your adult relationships.

    We have been taught or have seen things that we need to grow out of or unlearn. If not done so early on, it can be very hard to escape. After all, the first step is acknowledging the things you need to unlearn.

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    6. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does improve your quality of life.

    Many people believe the more money you make, the happier you will be. This could be true for some people, as money can solve most of our problems. However, money is never the root cause of happiness. Which comes from within.

    7. Ignoring the red flags in a person the first few times around is self-sabotage.

    This goes for friends, potential partners, and families. When people show you who they are believe them. It’s hard to change things you don’t like about someone when that is who they truly are. You’re only hurting yourself when you choose to stick around.

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    8. The people you choose to keep in your circle are very important.


    Unfortunately, birds of a feather do flock together. The people you associate with are the same people you tend to pick habits from. If you’re not growing with each other, learning from each other, and helping each other elevate–then you do not need them around. You should always be around people who are in the position you want to be in or you’d like to learn from.

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    9. Women are sexualized way too early on.

    From an early age, women are judged based on their bodies and sexualized based on how developed they are at a very young age. There are weird men out there and horny teenage boys. No matter how innocent she is, there will be boys trying to convince her not to be. Unless she is kept in a cage, there is no way to avoid this.

    10. Sex without love is meaningless.

    Maturing is realizing sex without a connection is pointless and not the reward we think it is. Emotional security before sex is what makes it special and rewarding to your mind, body, and soul altogether. Stop punishing your body.

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    11. If you let someone borrow money, never expect it back.

    If they had the money, they would have never asked to borrow it in the first place. Some people will pay you the money back but is it rare they do. And if you do get the money back that person truly just didn’t have it at that moment.

    12. Expectations lead to nothing but disappointments.

    When you expect things and they don’t happen, you tend to become disappointed. If you didn’t expect anything in the first place, then disappointment simply wouldn’t happen.

    13. The biggest lesson about becoming an adult is unlearning all the BS you were taught as a child.

    The older you get the more you begin to alter your one views and decisions. Which are sometimes different than what you were taught coming up.

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    14. Death is going to happen, we just don’t know when.

    Death is inevitable, it will come and we can’t avoid it. We just hope it comes later than we expect.

    15. Just because you have been friends with a person for a long time, does not mean you have to stay friends.

    People outgrow one another and that is perfectly fine. However, hanging on to someone because of the length or history serves no purpose. Think of the current state of the relationship and what purpose it truly serves in your current life.

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    16. You can do everything right and still lose.

    Some things will not always work out the way you expect them to, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t do the right thing.

    17. Don’t rely on or expect closure.

    Relying on closure is waiting for permission from someone to finally move on. Don’t wait on it, ask for it, or expect it…just begin the moving-on process. Learn to accept things for what they are.

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    18. If you don’t respect yourself, people will see it.

    If you don’t respect yourself, it will be clear as day and people will treat you as such. Begin to value yourself and others will as well.

    19. If you hurt someone, they will remember it forever.

    We tend to never forget our bullies from grade school, the person who broke our hearts the most, or friends/families that betray us. We can most certainly forgive, but we rarely ever forget.

    Thanks for reading! Comment some of your harsh truths below!

  • What is Life Like After Graduating High School?

    What is Life Like After Graduating High School?

    Image by elizabethaferry from Pixabay

    After graduating high school, I knew that I was going to college and I knew exactly what college I was going to. I had a plan set for myself, but things change.

    Here are some takeaways I’ve learned after graduating high school:

    1. You Get Total Authority Over Your Own Life.

    After you turn 18 you begin making your own decisions. Your life is now in your hands whichever way you choose to take is completely in your hands.

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    2. The Real Responsibilities Start Rolling In.

    You’ll begin putting things in your name if you don’t have them already. You’ll begin paying bills whether it’s as little as a credit card bill or as big as a car note, this is when you start.

    3. Constantly Figuring Out Your Next Step.

    after graduating high school
    Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

    After high school, and for most of your adult life. There will be a continuous cycle of ‘what is the next step for me?’ You won’t always have a game plan lined up because things change and it may feel like you don’t have it all together but in actuality, as much as s may seem, no one does and that’s completely normal.

    4. Tackling Life’s Hurdles The Best Way You Know How and Getting Better At It As You Go.

    It may seem like the world is constantly against you, but it’s not. There will be hard times that don’t seem fair or may seem too tough to handle but I’m here to tell you, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Hard times build character and some of the strongest people. Basically, the older you get, the better you get at tackling these tough situations.

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    5. Everyone Will Give Their Two Cents.

    Everyone will give their opinions on what they think you should do or which direction you should take with your life. Only you know what’s best for you. The best advice I ever received was to never listen to someone who is not where you want to be in life. If you wouldn’t trade places with them then you shouldn’t listen to them. I stopped listening to everyone and followed my heart. I stopped listening to everyone and started searching for people who were in positions I wanted to be in.

    6. Real-life Situations Could Lead To Anxiety and/or Depression

    Not everyone is able to handle things in the same way, and not everyone is strong. Being an adult in the real world can be stressful and can really get the best of you. After graduating high school, you enter the workforce, discover love and go through heartbreak, financial stress, family and friends, and many other things. Too much at once can be hard to handle and can take a toll on your mental health. Always make it a priority to take care of your mental health.

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    7. You’ll Grow in Ways You’d Never Imagine

    Afterward, you begin to discover your true self, the things you like and the things you don’t like. You outgrow things, bad habits, and even people…its life. People might say you’ve changed, but you’ll save you’ve grown. I can truly say I’m a totally different person than I was when I was in high school. 18-year-old me would be so proud.

    8. You’ll Always Feel The Need to Find Ways to Make Money

    You’ll be taking care of yourself and maybe even others as well, which means you’ll need to be financially independent. Most people are fortunate enough to be able to stay with their parents after high school. Which is the smartest thing to do while stacking your money. You’ll learn about the economy and inflation because you’ll be affected by it. You’ll learn that two incomes are better than one.

    9. There’s Really No Time For Lollygagging

    That time period of just graduating high school is like a breath of fresh air. Eventually, all you really want to do is relax. That should really be the time period where you begin getting your sh*t together. Yeah, you’re still young but the earlier you start, the earlier you will take off.

    Thank you for reading!

  • Practical Life Hacks You Probably Didn’t Know You Needed

    Practical Life Hacks You Probably Didn’t Know You Needed

    Here are some practical life hacks I find helpful, to get you through everyday life just a tad bit easier. These are some of the best life hacks that I personally use and find very useful. Prepare to be amazed.

    Life hack #1: Wake up early every day.

    Waking up early every morning between 5-8am results in more productivity and a longer-lasting day overall. The earlier you wake up, the more refreshed you’ll feel throughout the day. Of course, you would have to go to sleep earlier to achieve this, but it is worth it.

    Life hack #2: Learn how to do your own hair.

    It’ll save you a ton of money learning how to do your favorite styles whenever you want. Utilize YouTube and practice on others, then when you’ve mastered it you can do it for others. Everyone’s hair is not the same and should be treated accordingly. Learn your hair type and give it the correct attention it needs. I consider this self-care and you’ll notice a huge difference.

    Life hack #3: Learn a new skill.

    One of my favorite practical life hacks! You’ve been in school learning your whole childhood. When you decide to learn new things on your own, you’re pretty much on top of the world outside of school. Being well-versed in certain skills opens a door to opportunities that fall in your lap. Your 9-5 will make you money, and your 9-12 will set you free. Right now, I’m learning how to code. My next venture is photography/graphic design. Both will take me to many places.

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    Life hack #4: Follow people on social media who look like you/inspire you.

    This is for those people who constantly find themselves comparing them to those they see on social media. If you follow people who look like you vs those who you think meet society’s standards, YOUR qualities will be the set beauty standards. Follow those who are where you want to be also, hopefully pushing you to be where they are.

    Life hack #5: Look at coworkers as coworkers only, and not friends.

    When you start a job with brand new coworkers, be careful with sharing too much information. Be careful who you follow on social media as well. Not everyone in the professional setting is your friend because once you’re no longer valuable, you’re easily replaceable.

    Life hack #6: Have a reward for every goal you set.

    When you set a goal for yourself and plan a reward once you’ve achieved that goal–studies say, you’re 5x more motivated to work harder and achieve said goal.

    Life hack #7: Never make an important decision when you’re sad/angry.

    Making decisions strictly out of emotion is a dangerous game. It won’t be based on logic or reasoning, but on how you temporarily feel in the moment. Wait until you’re cooled down or you’ve thought everything through. Then you’ll be able to use your head and not your heart to make the best decision.

    Life hack #8: Never keep anything important in your car.

    Lately, car robberies are becoming a trend and it’s safe to say your car isn’t the place to keep important things. Other than the things that need to be kept in my glovebox, I don’t keep anything valuable in my car. Even when I’m stopping at the store. Believe me, they’ll tag you anywhere.

    Life hack #9: If you can’t remember someone’s name, ask them how to spell it first.

    This will avoid the awkward “I’m sorry, what is your name again?” question, that some people may find offensive. Most people just aren’t good with names, but not everyone quite understands that.

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    Life hack # 10: Practice “Out of sight, out of mind”.

    Want to get over someone quickly, or easily? Cut off communication completely. Unfollow them on social media, delete your text thread/their number, and delete any photos you all have together. This helps me a ton, because the less I see them, the less I think of them. Next thing I know, I’ve probably forgotten about them. This will help you move on and reflect on the situation without them being in the way to distract you. When you guys do end up talking again, you will most likely be in a better place.

    Life hack #11: Stop holding people to certain expectations.

    This life hack is nothing but a constant disappointment. What is, you ask? Holding people to certain standards that they never proved to you they could hold in the first place. I learned the hard way to stop doing this because not everyone is capable of meeting your expectations. Get a chance to see what they’re about first, then decide from there.

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    Life hack #12: If someone has wronged you and left you hurt, write your feelings out in a letter to them and burn it.

    This is a method someone shared with me that has contributed to my healing process tremendously. A lot of built-up emotions can be let go by doing this ritual. Release your thoughts, let them travel through your arm, through the pen, and onto your paper. Read it aloud and burn those thoughts. You will feel 10x better.

    Like this post, and if you have any, comment some cool life hacks!

  • 20 Bad Habits To Stop Doing Now To Improve Your Life

    20 Bad Habits To Stop Doing Now To Improve Your Life

    Everyone, including myself, tends to carry some type of bad habit with them. Something we do often that we know we shouldn’t be doing. Sometimes we might not even recognize our bad habits in the first place. Some of these bad habits are small and can be easily broken. While some, you may have some difficulty trying to let go. No one is perfect or alone in this, but the key to a better life is to stop anything unhealthy in the process.

    Image by Angela Yuriko Smith from Pixabay

    I think it’s safe to say that everyone has picked up a bad habit or two due to the COVID-19 lockdown. According to ValuePenguin, 61% of Americans are currently trying to break unhealthy pandemic habits. Which we can all agree was a stressful time for everyone. While everyone copes differently, some may pick up habits that are hard to get rid of. Below is a list of 20 bad habits to stop doing in 2022: 

    Table of Contents

    1. Sleeping in late

    Sleeping in is on the top of this of bad habits to stop doing because it can result in extreme laziness. Besides, waking up early and on time results in a more productive and longer-lasting day. You even have time to fit breakfast in, which is the most important meal of the day.

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    2. Complaining

    No one wants to be around someone who complains and nags all day. Complaining is a very negative thing to do because it focuses on what you don’t have, instead of celebrating what you do have. Complaining doesn’t offer a solution. If anything, it makes the situation more difficult to handle.

    3. Saying ‘yes’ to everything

    A lot of people won’t see this as a problem, but over-extending yourself can be very draining. While it is nice for your presence to be desired everywhere, it is impossible to be everywhere at once and not disappoint people. Most people understand this, which is why you should only yes if you want to, not out of guilt.

    4. Too much screen time

    Everyone knows this isn’t a necessarily healthy habit unless you’re being productive. According to research, excessive screentime strains your eyes, causes obesity, depression, anxiety, and chronic neck and back pain.

    5. Lying

    Everyone has done this on occasion but if it’s a habit of yours then you might have a problem. It says a lot about your character. Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” That line alone tells you why lying is bad.

    6. Watching too much TV

    Spending too much free time watching television can take away productivity for more necessary things. Now, I’m not saying no TV at all, but limit the amount you watch, or you’ll never get anything done. No one likes a couch potato.

    7. Settling because you’re lonely

    Going back to anything or anyone that’s bad for you because you feel lonely is the definition of low self-esteem. In a previous post I wrote about living alone at 22-23 years old and one thing I touched on was loneliness being good for the soul. Once you have mastered the art of being alone, you won’t settle for just anyone or anything.

    8. Spending money you don’t have

    Spending money just because you have it is not setting you up for any type of financial success. If you plan out where your paycheck is going before you get it (other than bills) is like robbing yourself. Next thing you know, your money is gone because you got too excited for payday. Hold off on things you don’t need until you don’t have to anymore.

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    9. People pleasing

    Wondering whether or not people like you or approve of you or anything you do is also a form of low-self esteem. You’ll never be happy constantly seeking the approval of others. It causes anxiety and it makes you look bad. It’s easier said than done but the best thing to do is not care what anyone thinks. The only approval you should seek is your own. That is a huge key to a happy life.

    10. Smoking/Vaping/Doing drugs

    Everyone knows that cigarettes are cancer sticks but any type of smoke going into your lungs is ultimately never good for them. Vaping is becoming more and more popular but it has the same exact effects as cigarettes, we just can’t smell them. Doing drugs has its psychological and physical effects, depending on the drug of course. Either way, doing any of these things is like asking for a shorter life sentence.

    11. Watching too much pornography

    Now don’t get this one confused. We’re not talking about masturbating or having sex, we’re specifically talking about pornography. Many people start off watching porn at a very young age which can make it difficult to stop. Usually, when people get the urge to watch porn they have to act on it immediately. Most people even depend on it. Aside from all of the other things porn does, if you watch too much of it, it can lead to a very disappointing sex life.

    12. Not eating healthy

    Things like diabetes, high blood pressure, tooth decay, etc. all come from what you’re eating. A lot of people blame these things on genetics when in reality, is just an excuse to treat your body poorly. Your body is a temple so you should be very careful with what you put into it.

    13. Biting your nails/fiddling with your hair

    Biting your nail and fiddling with your hair are both habits formed due to an emotional disturbance. Your hands are filthy, especially the fingers. Therefore, biting your fingernails is like eating whatever germs are under your nails. Fiddling with your hair too much could easily lead to the loss of it right before your eyes.

    14. Doubting yourself

    The only person stopping you from being who you want to be is you. Doubt is very normal which makes it very hard to break. The point is to not let your insecurities be detrimental to your progress. Stopping yourself from getting somewhere before you even try is toxic to your own growth.

    15. Living in the past

    Living in the past is harmful because there is nothing you can do to change it. You are holding on to something that is already gone, which stops you from moving forward and living in the present. Don’t corrupt your memories by living in them forever. Let’s make new ones instead.

    16. Not drinking enough water

    Since our bodies are made up of about 70% water, it is important that we maintain those levels for a healthy body and brain functioning. Not drinking enough water can lead to many health problems such as low energy levels, moodiness, headaches, and many more. Therefore, it is suggested that we drink at least eight, 8oz glasses a day.

    17. Procrastinating

    Procrastination is a result of wasted time. Waiting until the very last minute to do something can leave you feeling very heavy or stressed when the time comes to finally do it. You’re probably not giving your best results because you’re cramming everything at once. Most people procrastinate out of fear, feeling overwhelmed, or even self-doubt. Once you are able to identify and break down the task in a way that works best for you, then you’ll be more productive.

    18. Using profanity

    If certain words are not allowed to be said around certain people or at a certain place, then they probably shouldn’t be said. To some people, using profanity can be offensive and to others and lacks common courtesy.

    19. Over-working yourself

    When the workday is over, it means you need to stop working (unless you are getting paid to do so). According to Business News Daily, instead of improving efficiency, after-hours emails hurt job performance. Working too much can also lead to stress and fatigue. Setting boundaries lessens the amount of stress on you and improves performance in the workplace.

    20. Gambling

    Gambling is considered harmless fun to some but too much of can also be considered an addiction. It’s a void, like drinking, smoking, eating unhealthy that most people run to. It can get worse if you let it get the best of you. With gambling, moderation is key.

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  • Double Standards And Gender Roles In Today’s Modern Society

    Double Standards And Gender Roles In Today’s Modern Society

    We’re in the 21st century and I think it’s safe to say that the gender role argument has many opposing sides. Women have begun to take the lead while most men can’t handle the pressure of being in charge anymore. Well, here’s my take on gender roles and the double standards that come with them.

    Women are incapable of making decisions because they’re naturally emotional beings.

    Decades ago, women had to fight for equal rights in the workforce because women were supposed to be housewives and housewives only. America has been run by men for decades. Today, women are in more leadership positions than ever before, making important decisions. Why was this something women had to fight for in the first place? Because men think women are emotional creatures who aren’t capable of making high-level decisions. We may as well be monkeys, right?

    In my opinion, women are better decision-makers because of their emotional capabilities. To make certain decisions, you must be able to separate your heart from your head. Which is something highly intelligent men and women are both capable of doing. After all, God chose women to create life and that alone says a lot.

    Men can’t show emotions because it makes them look weak.

    Most men may not agree because of how society may view them, but vulnerability is a great characteristic to possess. In fact, vulnerability makes you a great leader. It is a way to form trust and without trust, as a leader, you won’t have many followers. When a man shows vulnerability, it means he is emotionally intelligent. If you have a conversation with a man about vulnerability, he’ll talk about how he doesn’t show any emotion because he grew up being told that it was a form of weakness–that men should not be weak.

    When they conform to it, that is what we like to call toxic masculinity and it is sad that our parents have instilled this in them. Toxic masculinity affects everyone, whether they know it or not. Men should instead choose to heal from this ideology, so their children aren’t affected. They also need to hear that their feelings matter and that it is not healthy to hold them back. As an adult, you’re totally in control of how you choose to live your life despite how you were taught to live it. Men must learn the art of healing, and fully live the way they want to live regardless of how society views them. The idea is to let go of double standards and gender roles are what’s setting the double standards in place.

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    Men pay for the household, while Women take care of it.

    Now that we’re in 2021 (as I’m writing this, there are 24 days until 2022), I think it’s safe to say that my generation has started putting an end to gender role stereotypes. Women are making their own money which doesn’t leave much room for a man to be in charge. Now, there is nothing wrong with this but a lot of people that follow this structure, don’t follow the bible. According to the bible, the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. My generation no longer conforms to the roles that were set for them. According to Glocalilties.com‘s Meet Gen z article, gender role flexibility could mean that boys are allowed to be emotional and girls are allowed to be strong, breaking ‘traditional’ role patterns–redefining gender roles and challenging patriarchy.

    Recently, a picture of a little boy with a kitchen set went viral. It caused some outrage because most believe the notion that only women belong in the kitchen. What most people don’t realize is that cooking, cleaning, and household chores are basic life skills. What if you don’t have a woman in your life for a certain amount of time? You won’t cook, clean your house, or do your laundry? Life skills should not belong to a specific gender. If my son had a dream of becoming a chef and wanted a kitchen set, I’d buy him a kitchen set. At least he’ll have a dream and that’s all that matters. It is only your duty to support that dream, not take it away from him.

    Sexual liberation for men and women isn’t the same thing.

    According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, sexual liberation is defined as “the state of being free from sexual mores or inhibitions that are considered restrictive.” No specific gender is pointed at in that definition. If a woman is sexually liberated, she’s frowned upon. If a man is sexually liberated, he is praised. I do believe that you have to have a certain mindset to be a sexually liberated woman. You have to be confident and not have a care in the world what anyone thinks. Not everyone is capable of this. Some people see it as freedom; to be able to express themselves through physical contact with another person.

    There’s this myth that women can’t have casual sex because they’re not able to separate their feelings from the situation. Although this can depend on the person, I’m here to tell you that men can’t do it either. If you’re a human with feelings it can be hard for anyone. People need to throw away the myth that men can easily deceive their feelings without remorse when they hurt just like any human would. Is it a bad thing to want to satisfy your needs without any attachment? A friend once told me that individuals who can achieve a casual sexationship are empty souls, some say they are mentally strong and free-willing. Perceptions and experiences are key factors in these double standards and gender roles.